indie

for a minute there i lost myself

2008-04-05T12:21:00.001+08:00

okay. in all finality,
this blog is closed,
and if you love me still,
i'm at
sprnvv.lj.cm

by the way RADIOHEAD is the awesomest.
love,
leanne

xoxo

2008-03-16T20:25:00.002+08:00

i don't know if i should blog here anymore,
i have somewhere else anyway.
we'll see.

in the meantime,
ask me where i am! X)

2008-02-28T18:40:00.000+08:00

i hate you but i've chosen light

17 + 364.725

2008-02-18T18:24:00.000+08:00

I have Will Kelly on repeat. <3
I miss Will Kelly and our crap. If I could find just one person back to keep in touch with it would be Will Kelly and his Hugh Jass. But then again, everyone is Will Kelly.

I have some hours left, before I am no longer a minor. So tomorrow if I got real depressed and decided to steal something, I would be sent to jail. Actually, this happens all the time, at every birthday. I wonder where all the time has gone and then sometimes it doesn't seem like so special a day anymore. It's like just another day and kinda pointless really. It doesn't help that tuesday is my worst school day and we're also having mock napfa AND stupid CCA Walkabout is on Wed and I totally forgot about it and didn't address it during the meeting. DAMN.

So let's say hi to stress. Stress is all around, especially with Arts Day coming up, and all the planning to be done. And CTs in 2 weeks. BRILLIANT.

I love Juno by the way. It's such a non-cliche movie. My fave part is Paulie coming into the hospital room after his race and after Juno has given birth, and them not needing to say anything, and him just lying there beside her in his running gear and dirty shoes, and he just puts his head on her shoulder. That's the sweetest thing ever. And then when she tells him she likes him, and she says You're the coolest person I know, and you don't even have to try. And he goes Actually I try really hard. Its like. SO SWEET and CUTE and whatever its like. *sigh* happy face

I watched P.S. with Zam on the 2nd day of CNY. We missed the ending but. It wasn't that HUGE a loss. I thought it was just a rather ok movie, no big deal. We had NY Fish & Chips at Fish n Co for dinner. It rocked. Saturday hung out with Isaac mostly, had fun competing and counting our angpows, then we went into town and met Zak and I went back with Adriel AND went back to town to meet Isaac to go to church. It rocks staying just five minutes away from town.

Anyway this CNY was kinda different as I met alot more people, visited slightly more families and also gained more insight into LIFE IN GENERAL.

VDay - UGLY minus Wen went out to Marche at Vivo. Had ham and cheese crepes and rosti with Rachel. And we totally wasted 7 bucks on a friggin SAUSAGE. That wasn't even nice. BLEURGH. And then we had fun just walking around and commenting on people and talking about our bitter or not so bitter lives, and camwhoring of course. FUN TIMES.

OK. That's been the highlights of .. life in general.
It's silly to be emo on the eve of my birthday every year. But then again I don't think I have a choice.
18 is really quite a big thing. I feel real old.
:s

But then again
We don't grow up on our birthdays alone.
They are just days to remind us that we have.
* OH WELL *

i am tired because

2008-02-15T22:36:00.002+08:00

life is a series of emails after emails.

but i love the Juno soundtrack, and the movie as well of course.
more on that and everything else some other time, but for now
i am tired.

S.O.S.

2008-01-30T16:17:00.000+08:00

these two weeks (and these few days especially) have been so crazy tiring
if you ask me to think and tell you what exactly it is i did,
i wouldnt be able to but i can tell you
i am absolutely shacked out. dead. kaput.
IN NEED OF HELP.
badly.

i am too tired and i don't know how to carry on.
and i have no choice, i have to keep going
but it is wearing me out like
nobody's business.

right about now i am working on the GREAT gatsby essay
it's rather killing me.
dead girl typing, yes.

you're way too -

2008-01-25T22:43:00.000+08:00

THE ARMY BOYS ARE BACK YO!

Firstly, my condolences to Heath Ledger's family and friends.
Secondly, i have been thinking about whether i should go for CAP, what with the clash with the As if i do qualify for mentorship.
Tomorrow is my last session with OLE at SMU's Campus Green. i'll be going with wuyue. last week i met wendy who's a lawyer and from VJ as well and we had a good time talking about our things in common.
Last night i was doing front-of-house for Howl Under The Moon, an M1 Fringe Fest dance. it was rather bjork-like but not my kind of thing really. Again, met some nice people.
If this keeps up and i take on the job that's promising to pay me 500 a week, i'm going to have many many new friends. So. Yay?
Anyway, this Thursday is going to be uber exciting. SECRET. ssshhhhh.

xx

thaipan

2008-01-17T21:22:00.000+08:00

How apt that I should be
Dressed for my own funeral.
That at an evening reunion
I should be mourning.

How nice, that you do not
consider me,
that you are selfish
and accusing.

Can you not tell
that I have nothing to say to you.
Tears that claw out eyes and drown out
Vision,
Let those be my words today.

While you absorb into your other world,
pretend that your day was
excellent,
and carry on perfect conversation.

Outside a Chinese
lantern
burns red like blood,

thicker than the stain between us.

it is distant,
like
Hope.

and it's light
glows like a heart,
dissipating permeating
spreading out

so it can be
everything,
everywhere,
every time.

twenty-four oceans

2008-01-13T23:15:00.000+08:00

there are too many things to be.
there is too little time to not be.

i am a bookworm once again! hurray!
currently i have margaret atwood - the door (in the toilet),
and jodi picoult - nineteen minutes (for all other times)

and i think i shall buy My Sister's Keeper - Jodi Picoult
and The Reasons I Won't Be Coming - Elliot Perlman

and MAYBE Songs of The Humpback Whale - Jodi Picoult

2008 is the year of blessing, not only me being on the receiving end,
but me giving as well!
my new year resolutions:
1) BE PUNCTUAL.
2) save more money
3) be less bitchy and judgemental
4) BE FOCUSED!

wed i was at 7-11 cos me and wen were craving for potato chips after seeing jeri's LAYS sour cream & onion WHICH SHE REFUSED TO SHARE.
so this huge sign says $2.30 above the LAYS.
and i go to pay and the woman tells me it's $4.15
so ok. i say, i won't take it then.
and the woman says. NO YOU CANT.
she says I CANT CANCEL IT.
IF YOU DONT TAKE IT I HAVE TO PAY.
and im like. what. like WHAT.
i have seriously never heard of such a ridiculous policy.
and shes like NEXT TIME YOU BETTER CHECK YOUR MONEY.
ok like. THAT. was real pissifying.
so i just paid for it and also out of the kindness of my heart
cos i believed her when she said she would have to pay for it.
and then after walking back to school and complaining to everyone how bitchy she was
I DECIDED TO CALL UP HEAD OFFICE TO COMPLAIN!
and complain i did.
although i must say 7-11's customer service kinda sucks.
but anyway they told me they will counsel the woman and teach her how to use the cash register and cancel transactions.
i'm glad. cos it means she will know it was me who complained.
maybe tomorrow i will go and test if the said action has been taken.
if not, COMPLAIN AGAIN! hahahah

oh well there are many other things to say but it's too late a time to properly *the C word that has slipped my mind at this hour* my thoughts into words.

take my shoes off,
and throw them in the lake and i will be
two steps on the water

so lonely was the ballad

2008-01-09T20:19:00.000+08:00

aching legs and aching bum
i like talking to people about music especially when we do the lyrics thing.
for example:
love of mine,
someday you will die
but i'll be close behind
i'll follow you into the dark

if heaven and hell decide that they both are satisfied
illuminate the nos on their vacancy signs
if there's no one beside you when your soul embarks
then i'll follow you into the dark
:)

and i tend to forget random things these days
like i can have a thought and suddenly lose it
HOWEVER i am good at remembering things like homework ETC

and anyway, its quite sad that my friends are going to army soon
:(
but

HAPPY BEANS DAY to
diane, jovena, marianne :D
3 years and counting..
i love you all

2005 - Dim Sum Dollies

2006 - Army Daze

Little Shop of Horrors

Multiple Personality Disorder

2007 - Symphony of Voices

it's a silly time to learn to swim when you start to drown

2008-01-01T22:37:00.000+08:00

showers pounding out a new beat
I trade my old shoes for new feet
I grab a new seat
I don't like the one I got the fabric's wearing through
and it's wearing me out
you're wearing me down

ok i just had to say,
i can't believe i'm going back to school tmr as a j2,
and i have a quarter of a mind to just.. go for the artery mtg in the afternoon
i have been trying to study!
TRIED. in the afternoon.
but i still have focusing issues..

and i am super duper full now
due to a SUMPTUOUS dinner at Conrad
(btw Conrad is the luxury brand of Hilton)
oooohhhhhh.
i had half a dozen oysters and half a dozen mussels
MMMMMMMM....
supah fly.
and then i found a fly on their raw fish!
so i got a 66.666% discount on my dinner (:
and i tried some new beer: archipelago?? or something
and it was the best beer i've ever had.
but too bad there was no champagne jelly :(
the mango martini was NOTHING compared to it.
and and and nice black sesame macaroon!
OSCAR'S at CONRAD - go try.

ok.
it's back to my dear geography.
and my top song picks for the new year:
1) The Professor - Damien Rice
2) Bizarre Love Triangle - Frente
3) Letter Read - Rachael Yamagata
4) My Number - Tegan and Sara
5) Heaven (Slow) - DJ Sammy
6) Not Tonight - Tegan and Sara

but the song of 2007 is none other than..

UMBRELLA!
by Rihanna ft. Jay Z
i say it wins hands down.

and this is the house that jack built

2007-12-27T14:52:00.000+08:00

friday 21st
went to hilton's seafood buffet cos i was craving for oysters
the buffet was great but the oysters were blah ;(
didnt get to eat my goal of 20.

sunday 23rd
woke up bright and early at 725am!
went for a run and felt.. in the oldies club
cos only older ppl come out to exercise in the morning..
felt quite good about myself
HOWEVER running in the morning is really a bitch to your body.
then went to chiawen's church with some fball girls for her Christmas musical
had nutella at island creamery after that and camwhored. totally camwhored.
then mich and i went to orchard for a bit and it was pouring and i had to go home
and i was stuck in a huge crowd and i really hated every second of it

monday 24th
woke up at 230 am and spent an hour or so waiting for the moment to come
it came and i finally puked out my dinner and i felt better after that
but seriously i hate puking cos its like you dont have control over your body.
spent the day vegging out in bed and spent 2 hours wrapping presents
then went mama's house for our family dinner
the food was gooood, chicken..pork..wine..
but unfortunately i had food poisoning so couldn't enjoy it as much as i wanted to :(
and then. our annual mini concert
this year. it was. crap.
but quite funny cos andre was seriously into it, it was like the andre concerto
and adriel was real pro.
the other items kinda saved the day, when daddy aunty lynette and adriel did impromptu accompaniment for our carols (sigh)
i think next year we must make sure we do it properly

tuesday 25th
spent the day looking through my childhood photos
had dinner at aunty heidi's house.
GREAT HONEY BAKED HAM and moschato
watched abit of the arsenal-tottenham rerun and saw the first goal

tonight i am going to sajc to watch some brazilian singers do "Joseph and the Technicolour coat"
and artery mtg tomorrow at 8am.
i can't believe i'm going to be j2 in less than a week! OMG
i so need to take a focus pill.
how how how
the prospect is extremely scary.
its do or die.
gambatte leanne!

someday we'll know

2007-12-19T16:39:00.000+08:00

i'm roasting marshmallows on the fire...
i'm breaking dishes up in here (all night! aha!)

i love this picture i took with my dad's slr.
my scanning really doesn't do it justice

i like this super alot as well.
its at Pier Hotel, where i did that sketch
and where we had our first dinner.
again, i was lazy with the scanner.

at the lavender farm mazes

this is at Barilla Bay Restaurant.
VERY EX. but nice.
they had this jazz duo playing.
it was really nice (:

due to the continuing number of people enquiring about the 05V11 class party this year.

i just had to say:
I'M SORRY GUYS i won't be planning it this year.
next year i promise it will be better than last year's even (cos we won't be stuck with sparkling juice) (EXCEPT DARREN. we'll make sure he gets only water)
and anyway if you're free please attend darren's potluck at 33C Harvey Avenue on the 24th.

by the way its 8 Hartley Grove S(457877) thanks ha.

Birds

2007-12-17T13:24:00.001+08:00

how great is our God

2007-12-16T13:14:00.000+08:00

i just am awed by how God works.
Ephesians talks about claiming who we are in Him,
and exerting our authority.
I believe God never lets us down.
Matthew: Ask and it will be given.
And God always gives more than we ask for.
God has taught me, and continues to teach me, about faith.
If you have faith as small as a mustard seed,
GOD will move the mountain.
If you want something, go to God in prayer.
Hold on to Him. DON'T LET HIM GO.
Fight like Jacob, wrestle till you win.
God is
amazing,
and I am assured in His promises.
(:

anyway, i have been blogging
here more recently so, yeah.

oh and and my predictions for Asian Idol: Mau from Philippines or Mike from Indo
i think phong vy (??) from vietnam is very pretty but she chose the wrong song
and jaclyn from malaysia is good also
actually mau and jaclyn are the best (i think)
but since its held in indonesia, you know.
AND its good that they make you vote for 2 ppl instead of only 1,
cos if not the country with the most population will win.
and hady.. ha. well, ok la what can i say.
he should have done freedom.

PLUS.
BIG MATCH TODAY BIG MATCH TODAY.
come on CROUCHHHHH.

and it's just like the ocean, under the moon

2007-12-06T18:34:00.000+08:00

the first hotel in launceston, tasmania.

Grand Chancellor
cute receptionist works here (x

first meal: late lunch (chicken corn mashed potato and a load of GOOD STUFF on a BAKED POTATO. HUGE)

just one example of the brilliant sunsets in tasmania.
to be honest NO PICTURE can ever substitute the experience of being there and seeing it for yourself

you get the idea.

the penguins!

graffiti at the skate park

the woolmer's estate and its vintage coolio car

THIS is a DAMN GOOD place to TAKE WEDDING PHOTOS.
its the woolmer's estate's rose garden.
and its huge.

the orgasmic oysters.

can you spot the hot guy! hahaha

the fateful beach (where i saw the hot guy (;)

omg, i'm totally in love with the guy on the left.
firstly, he's playing for charity (salamanca market)
secondly, he has dreadlocks.
thirdly, CAN YOU SEE HE'S DAMN FRIGGIN TALENTED
his voice is like.. omg
they sounded like they were playing PJ Harvey's This is Love
but i think it was an original composition
WHAT OTHER REASON DO YOU NEED.

the Tahune Air Walk.
this is hardly the scary part but note the queasy look on my dad's face
LOL i was laughing at my parents the whole way

At the Mures Docklands in Hobart

this is actually a model village of Hobart, made using clay

my favourite slippers

more pics coming up..
go here anyways
i so regret not taking more pics of myself with my hair
cos now its gone and and and
im so upset but
THOU SHALL NOT WHINE ABOUT THINE HAIR
THOU SHALL NOT WHINE ABOUT THINE HAIR
THOU SHALL NOT WHINE ABOUT THINE HAIR
THOU SHALL NOT WHINE ABOUT THINE SHORT HAIR
yes its short.
never been this short in 2 years.

:(

its ok, REBIRTH
but ohmygosh please don't ask me out cos
i really am not ready to face the world

WHY does this ALWAYS happen
to ME.

is someone getting the best the best the best the best

2007-12-06T15:38:00.000+08:00

the journal entries from day 1 to err.. 3
after that i just kinda lost the discipline and drive.

WASSSUUUPPPP

2007-11-29T18:04:00.000+08:00

ohohoh so exciting.
INTERNET hahah
im in melbourne NOWWWW
and im in the hotel's business centre
4-1 to LIVERPOOL!!!

anyway.
i visited RMIT today to enquire about their courses ETC ETC
and shopped until i was tired ETC ETC
and i have been studying as well! (OH GROSS)
yes yes

tasmania's food was OMG DAMN GOOD
OYSTERRSSSSS

but anyway anyway long blog post on all that when im back
SEE YOU BABIESSSSS
xx

p.s. i cant wait to cut my hairrrr
and i hate the 3 hour difference! wo yao hui jiaaa

all my bags are packed i'm ready to go -

2007-11-20T15:09:00.000+08:00

i painted my nails today! this range from thefaceshop is good!
nails are now electric dark blue (X

ohohoh i havent put my face mask yet
having a breakout RIGHT NOW is damn annoying
cos YOU KNOW
i'm going on HOLIDAY
and then like. how to take photos right
but the plus point is that no one knows me overseas.
i'd rather have like many small pimples then some HUGE ASS individual pimple at random places
its soooo irritatinggggg.
URGH
GO AWAY YOU STUPID PIMPLE.

and I HATE PLANE RIDES
especially economy omg
SO CRAMMED AH
(and can you imagine the toilets)
i've decided to take an aisle seat this time and i WILL NOT
be sitting with my parents.
too bad i cant try out the airbus
actually i dont think it looks that much better
OH FREE MOVIES. YAY
OH PLEASE LET THE FOOD BE.. EDIBLE.
let me sleep well, let the pimple go away PLEASE OMG PLEASE
and umm good music on the headsets too PLEASE.

anyway this holiday im quite sure i have not overpacked
ive been extremely rational and like cut down alot of stuff
sacrificed my vanity and impulse to be kiasu and bring everything

ANYWAY BENITEZ YOU ARE A CRAZY ASS
NO YOU CANNOT LET CROUCH GOOOOO!!!!!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

oh oh i'm gonna be using my dad's SLR for the first time
lets hope this talent can be (AHEM) showcased.

OKAY BABIES.
have fun and dont miss me too much
LOVE
xxoo

what the fortune teller didn't say

2007-11-19T17:37:00.000+08:00

productive day today!
woke up and went to school to show mr tang my sketches so far
and i had a nice short chat with jovena whom i miss very dearly
rushed home (and met viviensng on the way! had a nice walk home with her and her nice friend carrie who was wearing a nice acjc shirt that says love ACtually. COOL RIGHT!),
waited for the rain to let up
ran for about 3k (is it me or are you more prone to stitch when you're running in the cold rain??),
went for a swim till i got tired
then had a shower.

i heard that the ocip ppl got me some super nice present
and DARYL (HAHA) shouted across the whole shopping centre (!!)
and went: OMG THIS IS SOOO LEANNE!!!!
and was super happy and excited (HAHAHAH so funny)

i miss talking to my beans.
CAN WE MEET SOON PLEASE
when i get back

i'm going to melbourne and tasmania tomorrow.
so. off to pack!
xx

because of you-

2007-11-15T19:59:00.000+08:00

AHHHH today has been super unproductive.
first of all, i havent been for a run (although the pool finally has water. YAY)
and secondly i havent done much studying!!! :(
geog geog geog
sometimes i forget where all my time goes
but i know i took a super long nap today
i need the curtains up in my room!
SUFFERING FROM LACK OF PRIVACY NOW
and i really need the darkness, especially to carry on sleeping in the morning

yesterday was a very productive day however.
because i escaped from the house and went to sa and ac to see their art coursework.
shant comment.
and then i went to the national library to do lit research.
I TOTALLY LOVE THE LIBRARY MAN
the lee kong chian reference libraries that is.
except for the irritating security guards at the entrance,
its an extremely conducive environment and its the total bomb.
oh got cute guys also.
but anyway, besides the point.
there ARE one or two noisy people but other than that,
its THE BEST.
i am DEFINITELY returning to get my research done.

on tues i had to scrub the bloody grouting of the pool
and then i realised the nail on my middle finger was like filed away
and then during dinner my dad was commenting
oh today i realised my whole nail was filed!
then im like
yeah me too
and he's like
oh good im glad your nails are shorter
then i was like
no, its this finger only
*show him middle finger*
HAHAHHAHAH woah that was the most gratifying thing ever.
to show him the finger and have a license to do so.
A-MAY-ZING

anyway i'm a LITTLE obsessed with sylvia plath now
i borrowed so many books on her and last night (till early morning)
i was researching online and everything
she's kinda like my hero
although, its complicated.

and i'm not really sure what i can do for the h3 paper but right now
i'm exploring the parental relationships for plath and olds.
today while sleeping or something it came to me that i can do philip larkin as well!
you know, they fck you up your mum and dad
like, yeah totally.

last night i came across this good analysis of sharon olds' I Go Back To May 1937
i think i so identify with it.

For her readers, Olds’s poems seem very personal, including “I Go Back to May 1937.” Many of her poems are concerned with the speaker’s relationship with her father, as she seeks to understand his alcoholism, his abandonment of his family through divorce, and his painful death. The exploration of her parents’ marriage—beginning as this poem does, just prior to their wedding—presents the essential paradox. The speaker wishes her parents had never married, had never made one another’s lives so miserable. She wishes her own childhood had been spared the torment of her parents’ unhappiness, and yet to eliminate their marriage would be to eliminate the speaker. This paradox gives the poem a unique tension.

i think its phrased really well. love it.

oh and this website FREE RICE. (thanks jt!)
it helps you build up your vocab, AND you get to donate rice to the poor. its real good everyone should check it out.

oh oh oh and thanks again to jt, i found out that my flickr pic has like nearly 5000 views and counting! like OMG!?

i will not make
the same mistakes that you did
i will not let myself
cause my heart so much misery
i cannot cry
because i know that's weakness in your eyes
i'm forced to fake
a smile, a laugh everyday of my life
my heart can't possibly break
if it wasn't even whole to start with

Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger

2007-11-09T14:18:00.000+08:00

these few days i've been into a strange mix of nigga-electronic-brit-acoustic

my recommendations:
daftpunk / kanye west / akon / klaxons / jasonmraztristanprettyman / katenash

im having subway cookies for lunch,
and then i have to go to the library to return some books and hopefully get some sylvia plath and sharon olds' research.
i think plath and olds are just DAMN GOOD writers. and i think it is quite a misconception that plath is all about depression etc.
you have to remember she was a beautiful and intelligent woman, highly aware of the things happening around her, sometimes frighteningly so.

anyway i have started on my math and geog and completed my first shoe study for art.
and whats killing me is that im stuck at simple (i think) log and exponential problems for math! OMG OMG OMG i know there's some special trick for ln and all that but I. JUST. CANT. FIGURE. IT. OUT.
OMG im so dead, and im having tuition this sun. WHAT WILL MY TUTOR SAY!!!

last night i had dinner at tung lok signatures at central
its good.
and my dear friends have just gone for their self initiated OCIP
(daryl better not slack ah!)
i wish them all the best and nothing less.
i'm glad we had the good ol' chillout catchup session at darren's house that day
playing bridge, mahjong and the impossible quiz,
and listening to the cds we got for diane's birthday ETC
and ALSO coming up with the 'proposal' for our very own Vsparks.

OH OH OH and everyone go and watch this show called 'i propose'
channel 5, monday, 9pm
i saw the trailer and OMG THE GUY IS SO BLOODY CUTE!
its like he just gets cuter over the years OMGGGG.
ok sorry, stress relief.

and im not going to australia after all. abit ouf a SHAYME realleh, since i've gone an' hyped mahself uop for it.
but anyway that means i can do the AIDS charity run,
and speaking of run,
my legs
are
achingggggg... AHHHHH

Our Work Is Never Over.

cos i need you to look, into mine

2007-11-03T14:32:00.000+08:00

tonight i am going to chijmes to watch man u-arsenal with the birthday boy and the longlost friend and his other friends.
this morning/afternoon i have been on flickr, getty, polyvore (my latest love)
and i have been reading, writing, sketching, listening to music.

i dont have much time because i have many things to do.
i have started on my art and my lit,
i vow to organise my geog file tomorrow.
monday i will start on my math.

one day i must call for a meeting for artery.

//
VITA was okaydokay. i miss my old class, but somehow i feel we aren't really that together anymore.
05v11 outing was rather fun.
it consisted me leon sarah jovena daryl wenshu
we had to watch whisper instead of lars because sarah and daryl couldn't make it in time
i had a subway melt. anticlimax.
my sophomore visit to vivo seems to have improved my impression of it
though i still reckon its a bigger marina square.
on the bus back to school we made use of ASK IRIS
and i was 'stuck' with wenshu who was such a girl cos he sat down when there were other girls around.
in the end we ended up talking from dhoby ghaut all the way back
and this rather surprised me in a pleasant way,
cos. its wenshu.
i mean, we weren't talking nonsense.

//
the days seem longer because PW is over, hence the school year is over
and this calls for celebrations.
OP was good, moderator said it was clearly an EE, and and and
said i have smiling eyes and once you have smiling eyes half the battle is won.

after OP we had a 07A15 class lunch at cafe cartel and it was rather surprisingly fun.
i appreciate various people for being nice, and showing me sides i have never seen before.
i think maybe next year we will be better.

last night nick and daryl took a cab down to my place and passed me some yummy cake from chocz,
i put it in the fridge only to have my parents eat it when they came home.
so i had what was left of it for breakfast.
i like eating cereal for breakfast cos its so old school.
it makes me feel like an overgrown kid.
and yesterday afternoon diane came over and we talked and attempted to do our nails.
doing nails requires practice and we were sorely lacking, though i must say my control is returning!
i am now a fire engine with black wheels.

i am contemplating a radical haircut, but i'm afraid i'll end up hating myself.
i am also extremely broke.
i can't wait for my christmas money.

//
i'm going to melbourne and tasmania from the 21st to the 2nd and its uncanny,
that eunice was telling me these are the art cities of australia.
so i shall go to RMIT and Uni of Tas to enquire.
i do have my doubts about a family holiday.
i do have doubts about a holiday in general because i am so peeled for time.
but i havent been OVERSEAS in a while.
the last time i crossed a causeway was in march,
trengganu it was, and i kayaked all the way to the south china sea.
i would love to go shopping,
and i would love to exercise.

i would love to kayak in the rain, come to think of it.
the only flaw about it is that it is so deafeningly quiet and somewhat solitary.

//
sometimes its hard to respond to certain things,
especially when it kind of takes you back and you dont know what to say,
and diane thats why i have not replied to your sms.
lets discuss happier things and work on our book the next time we meet.

diane says various interesting things and i am like that sometimes.
she says that mixed signals are worse than no signals.
i think i have no comment.

there's a fire just waiting for fuel

2007-10-28T23:51:00.000+08:00

Merhaba is hello in Turkish. Dinner is at a six star hotel. The art is quiet on the walls. The food is new and the people speak bad English.
At the table they do not clear my plates fast enough. I smile once when the ice cream man entertains me. I watch eyes bore into plates and hands come up to knead brows. I watch eyes watch eyes.

We walk around an entire basement because we cannot find the car. People blame each other so that they can have something to talk about.
In the car I look out of the window. In the car I feel nothing but desolate. In the darkness you only see shadows. In the darkness people argue.
At a familiar estate I see an aeroplane. The aeroplane is hovering low, about to land. I say it looks like a car.

When I am sad I move really slowly. It’s like the world is rushing by and there is no more blood in my body but tar instead. I cannot move any faster.
When I am sad I lock myself in my room and dim the lights; put the music on and close my eyes till the tears come.
When they are gone and sleep takes over, I give in just so my heart can repair itself for tomorrow.

it's so clear now that you are all that i have

2007-10-26T00:23:00.000+08:00

so this guy (see below) is pissed/does not want to talk to me anymore
cos i said his images are a tad cliche
well they were.
and dude you asked for my opinion if you can't handle it don't ask.
it's not my fault it wasn't as good as the previous one.

aaaanyway.
wednesday i was in this cab on the way to school and the cabbie had BAD BO.
i stepped into the cab i was like
PHWOAR.
bombarded.

i held my nose the whole ride and the times i actually breathed i just wondered how the smell could possibly permeate the whole cab. it was like a huge turnoff.
not that anything else is a turn on but it was just.
nauseating.
i was utterly flabbergasted.

05V11 class outing tmr. or shall we say later on today.
yay i'm excited. haven't been out with the class for ages.
miss all of them lots and subway too.
though it looks like i'm gonna be watching woodcock.
well.
lets hope its a good laugh.

right back where we started from -

2007-10-24T23:26:00.000+08:00

today i met this guy called john who is a lit teacher in england and we realised we both liked plath and eliot.
and so he asked to see my poetry and i said what would you like to read and he said
choose your favourite and i'm like. that's crazy.
but anyway i open a folder and i see a poem and i show him.

lush

We bend over and hunch up like mimosas
Us grazing skin and closing,
Your knee curving into my back,
Burning a soft shape, casting wet cement,
Warm like candle wax.

I have no legs.

And I can smell your aftershave on my cheek.
Mint and a rush of body heat
aggravate this surface tension.

You have carved with your hands
something beautiful.
Yours is a kind of smooth wood,
Mine is a canvas.

Thumbs on forearms and fingers for the elbows.
A kiss is a firm lush wet one.

And then I realise I wrote it exactly a year ago. And I feel like.
This is so cool! This is a sign! Because he says it’s very publishable, although he thinks it’s better if the last line is just as subtle as the rest of the poem.
But anyway, it made my day
(:
And oh. I got the offer for H3 Lit. I had a nice literary day.

but the world don't need scholars as much as i thought

2007-10-21T15:11:00.000+08:00

we should stamp out racism. it makes people ugly.

i firmly believe:
those who can't do, teach. and those who can't teach, teach PE
especially true in VJC aka Victoria Junior College
and no i'm not afraid to let anyone see this cos it's a fact.

anyway
i realise i have lost the drive to blog.
it's a bit like writer's block,
and my notebook is being left untouched.

nothing fails

2007-10-17T02:48:00.000+08:00

it's times like these when you feel like you are ready to just
die.
you know like freaking collapse, lie down and end it all.
it's like your body is just.
falling apart, just like the rest of your life.
you know?
how you are like buckling under the weight of it all,
and how you seem to be holding up the world for everyone else,
and wondering
how come other people don't have to go through the shit you do.

it's being frustrated and worried and like, having your stomach churn at 2 am,
it's eating shit food day after night and night after day
having not enough food,
having no time to eat.

and where do people get time to do other things
because if you ask me
it is not fking fair at all
that some people slog their fking guts out
and some people just lack the drive/initiative to make sure that they do their best
or at least make sure they do not produce shit
but what the hell

this is the world isn't it.

but don't you fking get it
it is just so bloody irritating when like
i give 100% and and and
URGH.

i think it is just so unfortunate that you have no idea how
how hard i am working
it is just bloody tragic
that it is like 2.25 am
and i kiss sleeping soon goodbye
that some people
JUST DON'T GET IT
and to be honest
i don't even know why i am giving so much of myself
like like like
this is the only thing that matters
and i can't see why everyone else doesn't think so

Two can be as bad as One, it's the loneliest number since the number One
- and yeah i totally agree.
haven't we been this way for damn long now

and i feel like i can't fking take it anymore!
sometimes i feel so sick that i just want to puke
and cover my head with my hands
and be so still that my heart will stop beating

and i don't want to get up i don't want to get up at all
oh my go*
it's like
i'm crumpling into an ash heap
everything about me is shrivelling up.

and if i pull through
tell me i made it

when you say its OVERR

2007-10-13T14:09:00.000+08:00

pw pw pw pw pw pw pw pw pw pw pw
wr wr wr wr wr wr wr wr wr wr wr wr
op op op op op op op op op op op op op

i just can't wait for this to be over
i think my life has been shortened by ten years
better go and check how much more white hair i have
i always feel stressed when people tell me i look tired and stressed and all that
it's like i shrink further into the consuming hunched up exhaustion
it makes me feel like a hundred
pw is really like WTF
the best thing is that its a group effort

watched nanny diaries on thursday and it was bad bad bad
i think they ran out of schedule or something because it actually started out well
the concept and filming techniques were quite fresh
(speaking of which, i got full marks for my video!
YAY)
i don't even think it was a chick flick
it was just some cliche nonsense

and last night was the timbre gathering with the segment girls
it was quite fun
pizza was very very good
dawn was like on remote
once a new pizza came out she would shoot there
and she kept asking me to get fresh with the bartender
(who was quite hot anyway)
so we could get the whole pizza
but then i went home and i was SUPER hungry :(
which was what happened on thursday also
and last night when i was changing i saw my ribs through the skin of my back
*shudder*
and dawn says eee leanne i can see your collarbone
oh well, saves me the running i guess

anyway i passed my maths. first time in like. three years? HAHAHA
i think i could have done better though
my tutor says well that's a start

and i went to 2 art coursework exhibitions over the past 2 days
rj and tj
my favourite at rj was the lips and my favourite at tj was the reflections one
i think tj is really really good
too bad i didnt go for the hwachong one
too tired and i had wr to do, so

tonight i shall have a nice dinner (a proper meal! finally!)
to celebrate all the women in my family's birthdays
how very coincidental
and then it shall be the first night i will not touch pw
because it has taken over my life and i must fight it

anyway we should all listen to hiphop when we are stressed cos its the best
its so guilty pleasure indulging
it just makes you want to bob your head and sing-a-long
but then zakir shouldn't sing beautiful girls
not in real life, not on the phone
cos it makes me suuuiiiiicidal suuuuiiiicidal
(actually i AM already suicidal)
cos he needs to learn to keep to the friggin tune

and once again, wr beckons
it really scares the hell out of me when i suddenly realise there was something we missed out
or like we are short of something
or anything like that
i just cannot be at rest and at peace
and it is eating at me like
a grape
:(

sip

2007-10-07T21:52:00.000+08:00

It is alkali on tongue, it is
the trace of dishwashing liquid
remnant on a cup
the pause of water in a mouth
and the final decision to let it pass

It is sitting crosslegged on a chair
and typing
verse on the keyboard
amidst the soft vibrations of electro

and making a home out of a rattan shell.

GAMBATTE

2007-09-25T10:38:00.000+08:00

i tried to discover, a little something to make me greener
oh baby refrain, from breaking my heart
i'm so in love with you, i'll be forever blue

i'm so angry with myself because i didn't wake up at 1.30 am to study.
i can't remember if i got up to stop the alarm but the fact is i gained consciousness around 7 plus
and had the 'oh shit' feeling.
if only i had started immediately after my bath
but there was this big fat lizard in the room and i couldn't bring myself to sit there
so my mother used the com, and she takes a million years cos she will just fall asleep while typing emails.
thus i went to take a little nap
and as a result......

so today, i will finish the VJ Math Promo Paper (saved it for the finale)
my math is ok now, i think.
it's just geography that i owe an apology. so
i will finish up my Urban Geog (I'm left with Reurbanisation)
i will read my old notes on Human and Physical Geog
i will have a math tuition hat trick at 8
i will sleep at 12 (latest) and
most importantly, i accept the consequences of my actions.

Forget your sadness, anger, grudges and hatred. Let them pass like smoke caught in a breeze. You should not deviate from the path of righteousness; you should lead a life worthy of a man. Don't be possessed by greed, luxury, or your ego. You should accept sorrows, sadness and hatred as they are, and consider them a chance for trial given to you by the powers...a blessing given by nature.
- Gambatte, Masaaki Hatsumi

that you give me no reason,
you're making me work so hard
that you give me no that you give me no soul
i hear you calling
oh baby please,
give a little respect
to me

2007-09-23T10:48:00.000+08:00

i am cocooned in a perfect shell
and a thread of suspension
i struggle with the gold mesh that binds my beating heart
and i cannot understand, why
below this, is hollow

but husks unwrap in a concentric circle
and my eyes are ready to close.

he has the quirky hair and the special shoes;
he has the beautiful hands.

and he teaches me to let go

and so i know the only way is to die,
i have to die
but my death is le belle mort.

what's the worst thing that could happen?

2007-09-20T20:53:00.000+08:00

we could change our minds

random facts

1) EXAMS START TMR. omg, at least its GP. i wish i could say its time to PWN. but im afraid. i haven't even touched a GP handout.

2) changed my braces today! sky-blue

3) WO DE YA CHI TONG!! my teeth hurt and its not fun. HOW. exams you know!

4) tomorrow is my dearest bestie DIANE TAN YING JIE's 17th birthday! and the mighty beans + 2 taugay are going to celebrate at thaipan for lunch.

5) i need to pluck my eyebrows

6) i hate crowded trains and kiasu singaporeans and foreigners. i think we have too many.

7) i find it most productive to study at night/wee hours of the morning. i can sleep at 4 if i sleep from 12-130am.

8) i can't wait to get back my phone and my zen

9) i have no idea how to key in + on the home phone. OH DO YOU KNOW THERE'S SUCH A THING AS AN MSN CALL!? just click the phone symbol! i mean, this is such cool sht, but is it just me who's slow!?

10) like, whatever.

if i could be, who you wanted

2007-09-16T17:11:00.000+08:00

all the time.

DAMN i love fake plastic trees! its the best song ever!
today during math tuition i have no idea why i was just SO TIRED
i was trying so so hard to keep my eyes open
and my brain kept entertaining thoughts like
what happens if i really fall asleep
like seriously my eyes were like. half closed and it was abit embarrassing
i mean. one person how to sleep right!
i really have no idea how come i became so tired all of a sudden
i even thought it was some crazy phenomena like.. bermuda triangle.
then like 3/4 through i couldnt tahan already
i got up went to the kitchen and put two polo mints in my mouth
and after that,
i was fine.
you know when you're so tired your mind blanks out and you spout rubbish?
that happens to me alot, especially if i'm real tired. so if you're talking to me
if i'm extra crappy now you know why.

i am also at this moment
PHONELESS
so please. like.
there is always offline instant messaging.
i need to cry because mrs jay hasn't gotten back to me about photo taking and like
well
she probably won't
which sucks
because HOW WILL VJ TAKE US SERIOUSLY IF WE 'RE NOT EVEN CONSIDERED A CCA
like HELLOOOOO!!!?!!?!

urgh.

and i think, i will have some explaining to do when my phone bill for this month comes
cos i mistakenly remembered that mine is a international calls plan
so i umm..
called... umm.
ULISES SANTIAGO PENA in TEXAS like OMG
hahahah.
but it was damn FUN and OMG
hello con papas!
you sound (and look) like the sex!! woots!

luckily hector didn't pick up.
he's in GEORGIA. like
imagine my bill.
faints

But i can't help the feeling
I could blow through the ceiling
If i just turn and run
And it wears me out
It wears me out

It wears me out

i heart texas

2007-09-14T03:50:00.000+08:00

it is romantic to sleep at four a.m. because your body seems to be
awake in a different world

i wish blogger had locks.

playlist for lit essay:
Try - Nelly Furtado
Comfortable - John Mayer
Say What You Want - Texas
No Bravery - James Blunt
Cello Song - Nick Drake
All Good Things Come To An End - Nelly Furtado ft. Chris Martin
I'm Feeling You - Santana ft. The Wreckers
Waterfalls - TLC
Love Song For No One - John Mayer
Inner Smile - Texas
Mind Trick Remix - Jamie Cullum
Hump de Bump - RHCP
Creep - TLC
Save Me From Myself - Christina Aguilera
Tell Me 'Bout It - Joss Stone
You're Beautiful (Acoustic) - James Blunt
Sex Bomb - Tom Jones
Gotta Tell You - Samantha Mumba
I Turn To You - Christina Aguilera
Unfold - Jason Mraz

I sleep with this new girl I’m still getting used to
My friends all approve, say “She’s gonna be good for you.”
They throw me high fives.
She says the Bible is all that she reads,
and prefers that I not use profanity
Your mouth was so dirty
Life of the party,
And she swears that she’s artsy,
But you could distinguish Miles from Coltrane
Our love was comfortable and so broken in.
She’s perfect
So flawless,
Or so they say.
Hey and
Say, Heyyyyy
She’s perfect
So flawless
I’m not impressed
I want you back

no bravery

2007-09-13T22:40:00.000+08:00

random facts that are not random

my sculpture is coming along fine,
lit essay will hopefully be okay,
my probability needs practice,
i miss talking to my beans (DAMN ALOT!)
i had fun talking to wuyue on the phone,
promos are in a week,
zakir looks like death,
zakir don't worry! don't be sad!
zamir's hair is so long that i can't even recognise him from the back,
HAHA tomorrow i MUST remember to bring someone's present,
i miss con papas! and hector!
today's lit lesson was enlightening,
i can't believe he said exactly what it was,
it was le mot juste at its best and i am utterly overwhelmed
because its so damn true.
i have alot to say
but i will not say it now.
i must say it well.

-

random convo of the day
desmond: is this your sculpture?
leanne: yeah and i'm gonna hang a foetus from here
desmond: ohhh where is it?
leanne: over there in the plastic bag
desmond goes over and picks up plastic bag, stares intently inside
desmond: what's this long thing?
elroy: to hold the thing up la (what nonsense, he doesn't even know what i'm doing)
leanne: umm no
desmond: oh. it's a boy!
leanne: AHAHAHAHHAHAH!!!!
desmond: with... alot of potential
leanne: AHAHAHAHAHHA!!!! ya! not like you!

random convo of the day 2
edo shows classmates his plaster animal sculptures made of balloons
elroy: edo? are those your testicles?
edo squeezes one animal balloon he's holding
edo: OUCH OUCH!!
elroy: so which are your testicles?
leanne comes over and points
leanne: there, here.
everyone: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

xxxxxx

2007-09-08T14:42:00.000+08:00

it's like you blew me
away,
gave me head,
and threw in
a mindfuck

and i
took you in,
i took you all.

it's like you
gave me wings
and set me on fire

and i
never knew
my heart was
wax.

so what is a
kiss for tomorrow.
you pass one test
and fail the rest.

shit,
you fucked me so good
but now i'm fucked up so
bad.

you act like nothing's
changed
but when we came
together
it's like you strapped it,
tight to my chest.

you push
your tongue
hard in my mouth,
and give me a day to
detonate.

2007-09-08T12:25:00.000+08:00

and you know it makes me sick to be on that list,
well i should have thought of that before we kissed.

FAITH

2007-09-01T11:01:00.000+08:00

i think nobody has any idea how pissed off and upset i am
i hate feeling like this because it distracts me from being focused
i can't study now, seriously.
and God knows i need to.
everytime i look at my notes i just think about what i have lost
and how upset i am
this has happened before, the exact same thing i am feeling
the inability to focus and get my things done.
and look where that got me.

this is brilliant shit.
this is so beautifully f*cked up
and there is nothing i can do except try to psycho myself into thinking
that they do not affect me
i am not affected
LEANNE THEY DO NOT AFFECT YOU.
i am tired of all this.

and this might be a small thing
but i've had enough.
seriously i've had enough but there is nothing i can do

you are ruining my life
i can't believe you think you're helping
if only you knew

and if only you would understand.

restrict
space or the lack thereof
presses our bodies up and
against
the limit of my threshold
my tolerance is at the tip
of my end

and still there is no change
even after gravity is no longer
the centre
and your insides
permeate mine

there are things i cannot stand
and therefore i fall
there are battles i cannot win
and therefore i
do not fight

you don't believe that i am perfect
still

but in this dense constriction of an
undergrowth
there is suffocation
in this mass of a crowd
i find
isolation

these. days. are . scraped from sealings

2007-08-28T14:46:00.000+08:00

today i walked home barefoot in the rain,
because my shoes were drenched.
it was fun.
i might do it again.

this week is going to be/has been entirely SLACK.
not that i'm complaining though (:
monday was normal, today as usual i have the first 4 periods free
and then pw was moved forward, and my group was let off early cos she was impressed with our work (oh joy) plus i went to buy food and order subway while she was talking to my group anyway, so that's double joy.
and then we found out that the geog lecture period was reserved for a hydrology test.
so we umm. didn't go! HAHA
and the 3 periods of GP was cancelled! YESSSSS!!!!!
SO IN ESSENCE, what would have been a 1650 day was now a 1245 day!!!!!
WOOOOTTTSSS!!!
and tmr, mr tang is having a course so no art SO
NO SCHOOL FOR ME!!!!
haha except geog tutorial at 1320. i have to go to school anyway
i ordered subway! (:
and no lunchtime concert this week so i can
FINALLY eat my subway in PEACE and in a STRESS FREE ENVIRONMENT
go leanne!!!! haahahah
and thurs is my slack day as well, 1245. and friday, aha
don't you love teacher's day.
i think it would be morally wrong to pon though, sigh.

OH MY GROUP GOT THE HIGHEST MARK FOR VIDEO!!
quite surprised actually, thought the music kinda spoilt it.
but he said it was good overall so (:
haha thanks to laura and andre! our beautiful talented actors. the bomb, the bomb.
and to my fellow group mates as well, ruiying for the storyboard, louis for the effects.
we did it people!
oh and the arctic monkeys as well.

the SHIT thing about today was finding out my DEAR parents took away my mp3 player. like WHAT THE FUCK man. seriously WTFUUUCCCKKK. so now thanks to the lack of speakers on my com and the fact that they took my earphones AS WELL (dammit how am i gonna survive long mrt rides?) i now shall resort to my phone (thank goodness it plays music radio everything) to get my daily music fix. apparently i'm addicted.
SO?
SO SO SO?????

FUCK MAN! ok that's enough, but seriously, thanks. like seriously, THANKS.

i aint no art ist i am an art bitch

2007-08-21T23:46:00.000+08:00

someone like me is playing en loope on my computer.
i like the lyrics, and i am the kind of person that can listen to something continuously for about 20+ times. as was the case with umbrella.
anyway, i did silkscreening today. stupid rachel. i get free subway cookies and many favours and a day of suaning rachel in return anyway. quite fun to see rachel so eager to please and so tolerant of my nonsense. i will say/do something dumb and she will be like blahblahblah and all i have to do is say excuse me who is going for your silkscreen. then she will be like oh sorry sorry and shut up. HAHAHHA. then wen and jeri were like where's my cookie? and i'd go why you want cookie! rachel let's have sakae la! buffet! haha! and after printing wen will wash her frame and i'll say why you wash! we have someone to help us what. hahaha. and both rachel and desmond were saying nice to everything, so contrived. but quite funny overall. suaning is le fun! but my print kinda screwed up. lets not talk about it. how.. anti-climatic. especially when everyone was watching :(
we're having our 3rd ARTERY lunch time performance tmr. we're getting external drummers. they'll be doing some tribal/fusion thing. COOLSHT!
i am currently working on my sculpture which is the rubrik cube! and sigh my fingers are dying. it is HARD WORK MAN. whoever thought art was slack. excuse me.
PROMOS ARE COMING! AHHHHH!!! i have said hello to bad skin and the just-cannot-keep-my-eyes-awake-during-lecture state. today during physical geog lecture was a good example. however i slept "well", it wasn't obvious and i kept waking up and she was at the SAME SLIDE! for really long. but after a POWER NAP of abt 2 minutes or so i was energized!

p.s. GO TRY MUNCHY DONUTS. THEY ARE SO orgasmic
zomgosh they are THE BOMBBBB!!!

♥
don't let your head rule your heart
don't let your world be torn apart
don't keep it all to yourself
just let all your emotions run free
with someone like me

that's the way it should be
someone like me

i know it's hard when you're feeling down
to lift your feet up off the ground
we make mistakes but doesn't everybody
you don't always have to agree
with someone like me

that's the way it should be
someone like me

NO MYSTERIES

2007-08-18T13:14:00.000+08:00

filming made me sunburnt. my tan lines are damn weird thanks to my clothes.
i'm starting to peel.
and our video sans sound is great! BUT with music.. sigh
i do like the last part with her running to mysteries though.
DAMN COOL.

thats the entire school before we "renovated" the field. i'm under the C, on the right.

that's abigail kyla seow. she's 3 and she's got a new baby brother on the way (:
for more pictures click here

Artery's 2nd lunchtime performance was this wed and it was good, again. i'm always surprised things turn out well actually, because they are always so rushed and it's very nervewrecking. we had some people from choir form an acapella group and they sang lion sleeps tonight and stand by me. it was very good BUT TOO SHORT! they cut out one song cos it was messy.

this whole week has been extremely stressful what with PW, the video, lunchtime performance, anne's birthday planning, geog presentation. i've been sleeping at and waking up at wonderful hours. my shoulders are currently aching. i hate carrying heavy bags.
and i dunno why my calf muscle keeps pulling when i sleep.

oh well i should get back to math.
zakir you are so irritating hurry up la you coming anot
WAHLAU

cos i'm cooler than the red dress

2007-08-10T20:41:00.000+08:00

lastnightiwentforarunandcamebacktowatchthefireworksandguesswhathappened?insteadofshowingthefireworkstheyshowedthepresidentshakinghandsinstead.whichisjustwonderfulisntit.wastemytimebloodyanticlimax.
anywayduringtherunthisnicegirlonabicyclesaidjiayoutome.ishouldrunmore.ishouldrunlongerandnotbesoimpatient.
tomorrowisourfilminganddearlaurahasagreedtobeourleadinglady.lauraisthebest.lauraisthebest.whoisgoingtobeourleadingman.
ihavetodomywrittenreportandeditmyeomandihavetodomath.
idontreallyknowwhatimfeelingrightnow.ithinkimusthaveagoodthinkandbesureofmymoralvalues.itslikeyoustepintoapaintingandthevanishingpointchanges.itslikeiknewitallalong.
imcaughtupinthemiddlejumpingthroughtheriddleimfallingjustalittletonightcoseverybody'smakingtroublesomeone'sbursttheirbubblebutwe'llbegettingbyalright.

2007-08-09T01:03:00.000+08:00

i cannot
b e a r
to see this do you
understand?

set me free why don't you babe

2007-08-06T20:10:00.000+08:00

had geog with the taiwan immersion programme students today. it was a good load of fun, had QUITE a tough time trying to translate all the terms like London's congestion charge. i even forgot what city was in chinese. but nevertheless! my chinese is improving! thanks to me hanging out with my dear cheena friends like wenwen and jeri. rachel's chinese sucks man. so much for being effectively bilingual at home. pooi.
and dear mr josef made me the party leader and so it was kinda stressful being all enthu and stuff. i realise alot of time i spend these days are on being pseudo extrovert. wenwen was like YEAH RIGHT when i told her i'm a 'certified' intro. it's survival skills man, what can i say. it's tiring though.

i think i have become closer to the class of late. which is good! maybe i will be at SDD 08 after all, haha.

for art lessons on fri we had to go to nafa to view the AEP exhibition. some of it was cool stuff, some was quite blah but on the whole i'd say it was a good experience. found out that mr tang is directionally challenged, and that having art excursions are indeed fun fun.
go to my flickr for pictures i am too -.- to upload twice.

by the way this is a separate post cos i think the one below looks messy and me being a html noob, i have no idea how to like, arrange the stupid pictures. actually, i dont even know how to type after the pictures but nevermind.

anyway, HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY to the TWINS.
zamir and zakir, if you aint got no money take your broke ass(es) home.
(:

drifting a part like a plate tectonic

2007-08-05T21:17:00.000+08:00

SUPER EVENTFUL WEEK!
and now i have to attempt to remember why.

first off. I GOT A NEW PHONE!!! its SO SUPER SUII, so super pretty and sleek and chic (just like me)
;)
its the 6300 and its DAMN NICE LA. HAHA
i'm having ALOT of fun exploring it
however it was hell trying to copy all the contacts. wooh- hand cramp

baybeats yesterday. FUN FUN FUN.
music wise, not so good, didnt exactly meet my expectations, and umm
kinda left me a bit disillusioned with the local music scene
but then i met up with mr maroon april 77s,
and then my cousin Joe/Huang and DANNY! his friend from Lancaster came to join us
and we went to harry's and i told them the harry's logo looked like horny's. and beer in singapore is overpriced.

danny's only 20! why do caucasians look older generally??
he's on exchange for a YEAR in nus (poor thing) doing biology and he just arrived that afternoon.
and he went to this cool concert in spain where muse, arctic monkeys and THE KOOKS!! the friggin KOOKS! played. wah lau so jealous. he's from Southampton but a LIVERPOOL fan. and cos both me and zy are pool fans he was like Hey i like her already! haha. he's so super funny, especially the part when my cousin was like, you're so young! you're only 17 you're not even legal!
then danny was like asking about the legal age, and i was like
drinking - 18, 16 is for.. you know
and he was like. for what?
and im like, you know
then he's like *innocent face* for what?
LOL!

see the guy singing behind? thats chris harris from Intone, a band from Sydney
ANDDDD haha. i got to talk to him on the phone
haha the convo goes sth like

hello
hello is this chris
yes this is chris
haha you're cute!
haha thank you! i havent met you before so i cant comment on that one
oh im cute
haha okay i'll take your word for it
yeah! haha good show
thank you!

anyway baybeats is a friggin cultural shock man.
everyone is so.. homogeneous. i felt really intimidated.
and i got to preview some of the national day parade!
and im going this thurs! so cool!! haha i liked the diving part where the water sprayed onto us
was especially cool that huang was in the ndp planning com so he could tell us exactly what was going to happen as well as what was going on. SO COOL RIGHT.

before baybeats i was at esplanade for artery's outing.
more of like some educational trip, we learnt about being a stage manager
and the techniques the concert halls use to cater for different performances
and i met lots of new people like helen from yale on exchange
got to talk to her alot about studying in the us.
earshot cafe's calamari is good stuff man!

FRIDAY,
we painted chairs to raise funds for the visually handicapped children. i painted a spongebob chair which i am totally in love with. today i heard it got sold for $15 which was one of the highest prices. which might be good. but i really expected people to pay more. imagine! buying both the spongebob and patrick chairs for your kids! so cute right! and if i had known i would have bought it for dawn's birthday, or maybe even both to keep one and give her the other. but oh well i just hope that the kid is happy and takes good care of the chair, because i am totally emotionally attached to it. i really couldn't bear to go for lessons and have it taken away by the people. you'll see why:

love is in the metal

2007-07-30T19:35:00.000+08:00

okay i've done it.
i guess it's not so difficult this time because i told alot of people in advance, and just talking to mr l. was just making it official and letting him know. and i was honest. i have always been honest.
and i'll be honest but i will never betray. it's good to know i'm allowed to crash anytime i want, or go back, though i won't. but still.

quitting soccer was so much harder and i know why.

i think today has just sort of marked many turning points for me. like how my dad has agreed to let me drop math to H1, how i've.. done it, and how something has taken place for the last time.

promos are in 5 weeks, my study life is a mess and i don't really know where to start. i realise i'm just going to have 4 weeks to study for the H1 syllabus, and i also realise i have to DIE DIE get into a H3 if i want to get a.. you know? ya. but anyway.

artery meeting today. i seriously wish we could choose our own exco. i'm sorry if i'm being a bitch. i should probably post this on lj and lock it instead but who cares, its true. we're getting a beatboxer down on wednesday for our first ever lunch time concert! it's cool to think we are the first people to organise it, though this is only the second exco, but this was the original idea for artery and it feels like we're really doing something.

i would like to sit in an open space with a piano and sing Meet Me By The Water. don't ask me why, i get urges sometimes.

my hair behaved today and for that i am starting to believe in it and the fact that it will grow fast and nice. i have had people over for two consecutive days and i am tired. and i know i can't keep pushing off really mugging but SIGH GOD HELP ME PLEASE.

i need to go to church. i haven't been for.. some time now. and i think i would really like for God to talk to me.

pack up i'm striaght

2007-07-28T12:28:00.000+08:00

how do they expect me to go for college day when it is friggin pouring. i have a half mind not to turn up but its compulsory BLAH BLAH and they'll be taking attendance. and since i'm part of the 'welcoming party' (read: people who stand by the roads and clap hands when the guest of honor arrives), they will definitely check the whole LT and make sure everyone that is supposed to turn up is there.

BUT COME ON LA. there's lightning outside! and thunder! and RAIN! not to mention i have healing service later and DAWN'S going. not that i go for her of course, but i haven't seen her in eons. <- reminds me of EOM bleah. ok if i do go, i shall take comfort in the fact that there is slight chance i will see a certain ****ster yeah. i mean, a little eye candy never fails to perk up your day doesn't it. but going for church would mean i have to rush home cos i have a -.- party at my house and my mother has crazily/foolishly invited 20 people. which sucks cos like you know. have to put on the hostess act and be a pseudo-extrovert. which i hate. i mean, i'm a true blue intro and i don't like to be out of my comfort zone. yeah right.

and i am TIRED. and getting unfit. HAHA. how? sigh i am so depressed. why like that la. why like that. :(
AND MY HAIR IS SO SCREWED UP NOW!!! WHINEEEE. WHY SO SHORT OMG. WHYYY.

head-radio: stand by me (remix) by all saints
its soo addictive

stop me if you think that you've heard this one before -

2007-07-26T21:17:00.000+08:00

my tooth hurts.
my hair feels screwed up.
(Note to self: must not go to hairdresser's in evening)
and you are like. ~~non-existent~~.

nothing's changed
i still love you
oh i still love you
only slightly
only slightly less
than i used to, my love

tuesday

2007-07-24T23:44:00.000+08:00

beautiful boy you have
committed the
perfect murder; and i
have died the
perfect death.

and there is nothing left
here, for you to kill
again, for all of me has been
vanquished today.

all of you now
is a distant form;
so say you were
a lie, and that
you were never me.

i say you were never me,
and you always will be.

you can stand under my umbrella

2007-07-20T21:38:00.000+08:00

a super eventful week.

first off today: VJ vs. MJ guys
they played rough, played dirty, referee sucked as usual,
zakir's eyelid got cut cos no.22 elbowed him
and then it was very scary cos he was bleeding alot and the lousy ref was like friggin blind
same fat guy who made many lousy calls in the past (incl sending me off)
should just go and work at mcdonalds or sth.
so we were extremely worried and i know i was very worried cos i kept drinking water and rubbing my ear. and everyone was just very sad, not really cos we lost but cos we fought very hard and it was an unfair match and zakir's condition was very scary.

it was also racial harmony celebrations in school, and a dismal number turned up in ethnic costumes.
mine was ethnic in a fusion way. sarong from cambodia and top from esprit, slippers from japan, person originating in china = singaporean.

very hard to sit down in the hall. the fashion show thing( which was originally artery's idea!) was quite amusing and fun. and senior class' mel's madame butterfly costume was da bomb. she apparently designed it for her tsd exam. it's like a straight A man.

and down the escalator at TM i saw this guy coming up then we were like staring at each other in the i recognise you right? look and it was damn funny but ya. haha i think he's from kong hwa.

yesterday:
girls played NJ. and we finally(!) won. 3-2. and at the end of the whole thing thanks to horrible refereeing there was alot of conflict and dispute and some NJ girls came up to ask for the video as evidence that the refs were shit. and i think they also wanted to protest cos our free hit resulted in a goal which was supposedly supposed to be theirs. but oh well i mean, even if the decisions are shit, we still cant do anything about them what. the thing that got on my nerves and i'm sorry to say this, was the part when the no. 12 started going her speech about being a sportsman for very long and blah blah she was a sailor and she knows we have a strong sailing team, i mean. yes does that have to do with anything? and like, basically they kept giving contradictory statements la that was abit.. nerve grating. and we actually didnt want them to see the video at first. i mean, what happens if we didnt have the video. right? they can't do anything what. but in the end they saw it. and yeah ok whatever.

monday was VITA'07. and it was really nice to catch up with the class again. i realised how much i missed being part of a class that bonded and were high with each other. till today i would say 05v11 is the best class i've had ever. the food was disappointing but the company was great, and i reeaaaalllly reaaaallly miss my friends. all the conversation and hanging out.. but anyway, it's great that we are still close and able to get along after.. half a year. too bad marianne was in thailand. BEANS REUNION!!!! so we were discussing ip3 life and ip and j1 life in general and we had to give feedback and stuff. and we got back our AHEM higher chinese certs. AHEM. haha i was like totally flying when i saw my beautiful A TWO cert. the most beautiful thing ever, shouuld just totally frame it up man. and after the whole thing they wanted to go to siglap and we cut through the houses and we were singing and i was doing 'where i belong' in some falsetto (LOL!) and yes. it was just loads and loads of fun and i just want to say i really super miss my class and i love everyone and treasure all the moments we had together. okay so mushy i know.
and then halfway through i had to go home and diane msged me that i was sorely missed. so yes, warm fuzzy feelings.

monday was also the YJ match and we lost 6-0. i guess there are things to learn from everything. and i dont just mean technical or tactical things but oh well.

when the sun shines we shine together
told you I'd be here forever

TRY

2007-07-12T20:03:00.000+08:00

and i see you standing there
wanting more from me
and all i can do is try

then i see you standing there
i'm all i'll ever be
and all i can do is
try

all of the moments that already passed
we'll try to go back and make them last
all of the things we want each other to be
we never will be
we never will be

and that's wonderful
and that's life
and that's you baby
this is me baby

and we are we are we are
we are
free
in our love
we are free in our love

2007-07-05T10:23:00.001+08:00

how long will it take for us to come undone?
it's thursday it's the fifth of july and i'm quite sure of it being a beautiful morning.
well that is outside but i am inside
we are nothing inside.
i am wasting away but the girl named crow says i am good.
last night she talked to me in the toilet stall,
in the mirror and in the shower.
but i say, my heart is full
and is heavy.
this body is a shell, and is the skin of the heart.
and things fall apart because the center cannot hold
say you are beautiful and you are perfect, and make these emotions a song.
do not mind me please, and leave me alone.
but yes i am the injury.
so swim at night, when it's dark and the midnight becomes murky,
when tears are silent and rain is redemption and is
water again, sweat is a suffering and inching into lungs
like this not being coherent enough for you.
say maybe i'm not good enough for you.
but you were good enough for me.
how i do not understand myself, how i give in to myself because i am
tired, it's not like you smoke but you take a drag anyway.
and i am a dream again, where it is stuffy outside,
where all lights are yellow and
far away.
where the girl named crow says not right now.
where you look into my eyes and tell me not to,
well i never, i'll never.
i cannot do it
and i cannot do this anymore
can't you hear me, well then where are you.
where are you oh my god where am i.
tell me i am still the perfect form, that i am not sick of all this,
and that you want me still
say time will wait for me and you will not be there to see me fall.
the girl named crow says. why
are you afraid to fall
i say i'll flip on the tele
and wrestle with jimmy
and you will tell me what went wrong with this song.
well what went wrong with you and what is wrong
i said the girl named crow said i am good.
no you're not so good but i am.
i'd like so much
for this
to stop
i'd like so much to be average,
i'd like to be more.
i'd like to be cold, you would like to be less cold.
no you would.
don't
let them attack me i can't stand it i can't help it
but neither can you.
how am i going to do this tell me please
the girl named crow says it'll be over soon
i'll say how is this possible
they said nothing.
but you don't know who i am
i know who i am but i don't know
why
i am
so let me go let me slide slip
away.
you don't know i wish you wouldn't read this
but don't talk to me about this please,
i wouldn't tell you and even if i tried to i would lie.
i don't know why you would even want or need to
but i do
maybe i don't but i do i do i do
the girl named crow says i am good.
i cannot understand but i do.
i will, i have
no choice.
it will be over soon.
she said it will be over soon.

2007-06-29T19:13:00.000+08:00

its training and then its a sandwich
and not boarding the bus and being depressed the ride home
and then its coming through the gates and taking off my teeshirt
and a swim with the water coming up to my neck and covering my shoulders
so i wont feel cold with the imminent rain and with the wind making the pool water look like
choppy waves
its thinking about forgetting how meaningless life is at the start of each lap
and wondering why my legs feel like cramping every time i kick off
and its wondering why i cant move faster and why the water sounds so ugly
is thinking about how people can drown themselves in a river
is thinking about how it would feel to not breathe submerged underwater
and then its hearing the sun set and seeing lightning streaking
and thinking how would it be like if i died by lightning
is concluding that it would be immense pain
and knowing i am almost immortal and not ready to die
even though life right now is perhaps less than peachy
is not being grateful enough for everything
and thinking that that much is not enough
no not enough right now
and thinking that im perhaps just too tired
too tired to understand why im feeling like this
and too tired to think of why i cant make myself understand
is getting out of the pool before it rains and putting my teeshirt back on
and leaving wet footprints all over the marble and the parquet
and thinking they will dry so it doesnt matter
is mouthing zombie in the shower and singing it real slowly
is switching off the lights and changing
and combing my hair and for once not thinking about the length of my hair
is thinking my eyes are spoiling
is being worried about my nose that has been whacked full on by a ball
is recalling asphyxiation is thinking i wouldnt be pretty if i had a bigger nose
and thinking if i had walked onto the road at the busstop
would i have died or would it just have been something stupid
is telling myself id never drown myself because i hate water going up my nose
and is reading that someone says life is meaningless without God and agreeing
and feeling so far away from God
and is telling a friend that life is meaningless
and having to laugh off the misery im in
is having to ask why do you think my life is great
and knowing exactly why they think so
and somehow not being able to articulate how rotten i am feeling
and laughing
and always laughing
till it doesnt come from inside anymore but becomes a prerequisite for saying something
depressing and something sad and maybe something
honest
is always trying to laugh it off
and always trying to hide
is always trying to shrug it off
and always trying to hide

STOP ME OH OH OH STOP ME

2007-06-25T13:34:00.000+08:00

my latest obsession is: Mark Ronson

LIKE OMGAWD SO F-ING HOT! SO F-ING COOL
im gonna buy his album.

for your (my future) viewing pleasure:

is this it?

2007-06-22T13:02:00.000+08:00

this boring life.
is making me cry.
okay not making me cry exactly but, is such a pain.

i hate this life.

Stop me, oh, stop me
Stop me if you think that you've
Heard this one before
Stop me, oh, stop me
Stop me if you think that you've heard this one before

Nothing's changed
I still love you, oh, I still love you
...Only slightly, only slightly less than I used to, my love

tell me that you'll open your eyes

2007-06-21T09:05:00.000+08:00

math tuition at 10.15 and i am just letting my brain take a break at this present moment.
i had a weird dream last night.
as usual.

i dreamt that my braces came out after brushing and i don't know how they came out but they did and i only realised after a while, and i had perfect straight teeth at the top but i still had bogays at the bottom.
and i dreamt i was offered a speciak one-week thingy to UNSW Science, and it would be during the week after midyrs which would clash with floorball
and i dreamt i was fergie and that i moved into some new neighbourhood where they hated me (fergie) and i caught someone stealing my stuff blah blah
and i was avoiding swamps.
and then i dreamt abigail (my niece) was eleven years old! she's only three now. and that she was wearing braces. basically i kinda dreamt alot of ppl were wearing braces.
and everything was just kinda surreal.

and i just wanted to say, that i believe, i believe i believe,
even though belief is not faith and belief is not trust,
i believe.

and i have faith.

we want prenup we want prenup

2007-06-15T21:11:00.000+08:00

yeah.

to zamir: if you aint got no money TAKE your broke ass home
to zakir: if you got no money, go home

AHAHAHHAAH. okay
to jiaxin: X marks the spot :p

(i got problems up to here, i got people in my ear, telling me these crazy things that i don't wanna hear. F*CK Y'ALL)

9 days more.
teriyaki chicken burger sucks, so much skin and fat, tsk
but yay to shaker fries.

haha just now zakir called my HANDPHONE and said: hello?
so i said: hello?
and then he said: hello? can i speak to leanne please?
and i said: sorry wrong number.
and he said: oh sorry
and he put down the phone
AHAHAHAHHAHAHA
but it cant beat a few years ago
when this guy called my house and said: hello can i speak to blah blah
then i stoned for a while then said: errr.. wrong number
then he was like: huh..eh dont bluff leh. im jacob.
me: err. ya wrong number
jacob: ah.. okay. sorry bye

HAHA i think cos i sounded young (as in his age) and i stoned for abit so it was really suspicious. but i dont know why people keep calling my house number asking for cisco, like super irritating can.

it's something that you need to have
cos when she leave your ass
she gon' leave with half

gotta gotta be down because i want it all

2007-06-13T16:22:00.000+08:00

i am half rotting at home while there is training because i am friggin grounded.
sooo stupid, please.
i cannot stand it when someone gets on their high horse, especially spiritual.
and i cannot stand two-facedness.

and can someone please zap me and make me a study-robot?
cos i really really need to mug like there's no tomorrow
and i am failing terribly at being focused,
alliteration there, could have enhanced the alliteration with a certain f- word but no i will not.
self-control friends.

don't depress me for goodness sakes.
12 days to exams right?
i think, i should run away and live on a hill.
maybe i will come back when its all over.

oh and guess what,
last night while bending down to switch off a plug
i totally whammed my eye into the back of a chair
you know the part that sticks out,
let me tell you it hurt like crazy
and i mean, i really cannot comprehend my stupidness.
like, what is wrong with you leanne, wah lau.
so now one eye is slightly bigger, not really obvious but still,
hurts and there is a lump on my eyelid.
-.-, how about -.<
HAHAHAHAHHA

tell me something good.

2007-06-12T08:57:00.000+08:00

i am wearing uncoordinated socks today, oh joy.
at 8.22am i got a msg saying coach will be late and will only come at 9.30
and im like. THANKS AH.
WAH LAU I COULD HAVE GONE HOME TO CHANGE MY SOCKS LA.

so apart from being connected to the world here in the art room
there is nothing much else to do because 25 minutes is too short a time to waste acrylic paint on.

dont i hate it when this happens.

but anyway, shrek 3 with wenwen at THE cathay. haha
i didnt love it but i liked it.
especially the high school bit, ya know, like, TOTALLY.
and i cant exactly see how they can continue with the storyline without being 'extra'
so yes. thats the end of shrek then.
soundtrack is cute
and GRAMOPHONE at Cathay is having a great sale!

so is like almost every shop in Singapore,
seriously need to go on a spree soon.
BRING IT ON MAN.

and everyone says

2007-06-07T11:06:00.000+08:00

hello how is your revision.
i put this picture on my desktop:
haha you can 'kop' it if you want to you know, motivate yourself. helps that mika is totally cute.

anyway. training is now.. training, not some slack thingy that we waste time having. having a coach is really good, and now its gonna be 3 times a week with the coach. so. TIME MANAGEMENT IS EVERYTHING TOO.

yes. i am acutely aware of the consequences of screwing up this mid yrs and i am so not going to. but oh man. i don't know. why can't i LOVE studying. why dont i have this DRIVE to study and study and study all day? by the way my st teresa is coming along very very nicely and i am immensely proud of it (: although i couldnt follow the folds of the sculpture itself so i had to make up all the shit. which was sooo hard. i am nevertheless happy with my work so far. i'll just have to complete it even if it takes a thousand years. actually, no. cos i have a deadline but i cant spend my whole 'holiday' painting right!! remember. STUDYING IS EVERYTHING.

so good luck everyone, and remember one more thing,
life rocks a little,
sucks alot.

Boy you've dropped the biggest bomb on me.
If this was suicide then I'm sorry.
But you said you'd be the first to die.
I believed you and I don't know why.

too close for comfort now.

2007-06-01T11:19:00.000+08:00

long overdue pictures.
some random

Symphony Of Voices 07!

PRE BRACES!

Doing the Ugly Betty Impersonation- not ugly enough man i know

D FOR CATS!

2007-06-01T10:02:00.000+08:00

i am BACK from CLIC, and i found out on the last day it means Connecting Leaders In Camp!
sui la. haha
it was a very very good camp.
i took away alot of important stuff.
HOWEVER.
the food was errr.
and the lodging was OMG.
toilets were clean, as in not as gross as some
but the rooms.
were like. terrible.
my bed had MOULD, and my room mate melissa (HELLO MELLY!)
and i were sleeping on plastic bags.
we kept waking up in the middle of the night traumatised
like if our feet were touching the bed we'd be sooo grossed out.

i was in group 4, D for Cats.
sean, melly, nazri, zonghe, limin, stephanie, ian and freddie
and peiying was our facilitator.
and she was really good.
i think this yr the facis have set a real high standard.
the last day's final activity was some emo thing
LEARN TO SEPARATE THE EMOTION FROM THE DEVICES THAT CAUSE THE EMOTION PEOPLE!
if they switched off the music i swear there wouldnt be the same effect.
but oh well.
it was a meaningful activity all the same.

there are many many things that i learnt from the camp,
and one of the most important was to keep pushing yourself
even though you're tired you still need to tell yourself
ITS HIGH DAY MAN!
no stoning allowed.
i used my brain ALOT in the camp, never so much in any camp.
the trainers from eka training were good too.
so many games that we could learn from,
and we had to keep reminding ourselves about the previous debriefs
like what pointers we could learn from.

anddd i learnt that i am an INTJ
so basically im an introvert.
so amazing eh.
so true anyway, though i didnt know it before.
camps tire me out and these camps and whatnots overwhelm me sometimes
and i like to be alone after a long school day
which explains me not minding having anyone to go home with,
just walking the parkconnector route home with my earphones.
and ALSO explains the not liking to be in the same room as my parents while studying at night
so thats good that i understand why i am a certain way at certain times.
BUT the briggs-myers profiling is not meant to constrain or give excuses
so.
the best is yet to be.
haha okay that was random.

to school later!
to paint my saint teresa.
and then on to training at 4.
finally get to move my bum
after much sitting on the hard floor in CLIC
my bum really hurt man.

but anyway i would like to THANK all my grpmates
cos we had a great deal of fun!
and we all learnt stuff together and it wouldnt be the same without you all!

Let's gather round the campfire and sing our campfire song
the C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G song
And if you dont think that we can sing it faster then youre wrong
but it would help if you just sing along

C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G song
C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E-S-O-N-G song
And if you dont think that we can sing it faster then youre wrong
but it would help if you just sing along

it would help
it would help
if you just sing along
(:

in the confusion and the aftermath

2007-05-26T22:40:00.000+08:00

you are my signal
fire.

today was the raffles open, and we lost so terribly. okay come to think about it, it wasn't that bad really.
but i honestly thought we could have done better.
it's the end of the term!
and what a way to end it off.
it was still fun overall, CONGRATS to the FLOORBALL GUYS who WON THE WHOLETHING!!
yay champions.
had some controversy at first in the semis cos the guys' teams from the same school had to play against each other.
jill quek and the other members of the women's floorball team are sssuuuupppperrrr pro man.
amazing.
after that i had apple pie (:

ah anyway,
CLIC is tomorrow!!
it just never stops.
im soo glad i managed to finish all my work on time.
but i have my ecstasy of saint teresa painting to complete!
ahhh!!!!
the past wk has been a helluva week, totally busy totally stressed.
hopefully CLICing will be unwinding.
im gonna wear my spongebob tee for the under the sea bash! haha

aaannnyway.
i think sometimes,
we have to let some things go.
and some people as well.
its no use trying to figure someone out when the person doesn't exactly mean alot to you in the first place.
as we grow older,
friends come and they go
and i guess.
when the time comes
you will know what to fight for.

you alone, can make my song take flight.

2007-05-13T10:37:00.000+08:00

happy mothers' day! (not like you are going to read this. i mean, you'd better not.)
dinner last night at regent's summer palace.
food was okay. too bad i couldn't really enjoy the 'harder' stuff like suckling pig(AWW) and red meat.
looked downstairs and Capers was having italian food! ARGH. all the ravioli and mushroom sauce.
TSK.
i like these dinners. so interesting to see people grow and mature. i have extremely talented cousins. shaun's in med school, andre just came back from obs, adriel's the strings chairman which got gold with honours and the younger two are both smart and athletic. apart from being able to play multiple instruments, they all have so much going for them and it's cool to see what they're going to make of their lives.

went to watch phantom of the opera on friday. tickets were free! and they were the 180 ones! (: AND we were entitled to a free private reception. had white wine and chocolates for dinner. i used to prefer red but now i think i like both. and only champagne and wincarnis makes my throat warm. oh so cool, blogger has this spelling thing. they wanted my wincarnis to become incarnate.
anyway, phantom was good. i'm glad it was an opera. although the 'christine' wasn't really pretty, the 'raoul' was movie-star like. the set was extremely elaborate. and it was really cool when the phantom could roam around the set. sometimes he would be on stage and sometimes overhead. pity the chandelier was rather ugly. but it was a good show.

OH BY THE WAY my maid found my creative zen under the sofa. i'm sorry for the post below! haven't told mr tang yet. its not so much the malu factor on my part but more of a 'WAH LAU!!' reaction on his part.

but God has taught me a lesson through this. not in the bad sense. i learnt to trust Him most of all. and i realise that when i tell God i commit something to Him, He honours me immediately. grants my wishes just like that. for OTHER aspects that i have not seen immediate results in, i know that its in His perfect time (:

next tues, 22nd, will be our friendly against NUS, and on monday we'll be playing RJ.
*crosses fingers*
it would be nice to meet ~~you~~ old friends.

F.

2007-05-08T18:28:00.000+08:00

WHERE IS MY MP3 PLAYER

MY CREATIVE ZEN

BLACK AND GREEN.

I DID NOT TAKE IT OUT OF MY BAG TODAY

AND I AM VERY SURE I PUT IT IN MY BAG

ITS NOT AT HOME ANYWAY.

AND I DID NOT LEAVE MY BAG LYING AROUND

THE ONLY PLACES I LEFT IT WAS IN CLASS WHEN I WENT TO THE TOILET

AND THE ART ROOM WHEN I WENT TO BUY FOOD.

SO IF SOME F-ING IDIOT F-ING TOOK IT

OR WHATEVER.

RETURN IT RIGHT NOW.

this is the sound of settling.

2007-05-08T09:49:00.000+08:00

if you haven't already,
you MUST try the donut factory's double chocolate err.. donut.
its soooo good.
melt in your mouth,
not too much chocolate so that it becomes jelat,
and the chocolate just oozes out.. YUMMMMM.
this is so terrible
over the past night and this morning i have eaten 2 and a half already.
and i'm gonna bring one to school! (:

am at home now, making the most of the 1025 starting time for lessons
this is much better than rotting in school.
but sshhh. haha

anyway my right knee is wonky.
this is very very worrying.
cos i dont want to be wearing a knee guard or anything like that
and i certainly dont want my body to deteriorate NOW.
the thing is i'm not exactly sure what caused it.
so right now i'm just..trying not to put much impact on it.

do half-squats work the knee??

fake plastic trees

2007-05-05T14:00:00.001+08:00

friends, how is it possible that i look like ugly betty?
nick lee, how is it possible that you cannot get used to me smiling.
i mean.
ITS VERY UGLY MEH?!
and yong tat, very funny meh.

anyway.
moving on to happier things,
i LOVE my park connector.
yesterday this hot blond(not the same one) was running topless.
HAHA. okay enough.

没有我你真的不习惯

2007-05-01T12:47:00.000+08:00

i think i really am a closet jolin tsai fan.
tsk tsk. but then i definitely not am the type to spend money on her album or concert or anything like that.
can you imagine me at her concert?
total culture shock.
i just like SOME of her songs.

yesterday while walking along the park connector home i saw this FREAKING hot guy
he was a dark blonde
and he was wearing a chain, white singlet, black shorts, white shoes, white swatch cap and grey undies.
his shorts were like totally hanging off his bum. thats how i know.
and all his clothes were tight.
but the main thing that he was sooo hot. like PHWOAR.

and last night i painted my nails black and blue cos i was feeling upset. strangely therapeutic, great form of self-expression.

in other news, VJ guys soccer drew 1-1 with SA. SA scored first and it was purely bad bad defending on VJ's part. they allowed the SA guys to pass so freely in the box. and then VJ scored barely 5 minutes later with a corner. i think VJ seriously cannot make it this year. its part the complacency of the soccer guys as well but anyway, im fully confident the girls will go all out to win the title.

there is so much work to do! im going to be sitting in front of the computer the rest of this labour day.
labour day for labouring, how nice.
PW, Art, Geog and Lit. Oh and math too.
help.

a rush of blood to the head.

2007-04-27T12:06:00.000+08:00

LJ is funner in terms of text. blogger is more convenient. how-how?
i like this:
~~this is what my teeth look like~~
so cool ah? haha
i feel so sad to part with this blog.
im still undecided, and dont ask why i fret over so called small issues like this.
it's quite a big move what.
and i get emotionally attached rather quickly,
and i am a sentimental person as well. so
go to lj for the timebeing, till i stop being a noob at it.

by the way im still on a liquid diet.
i have tauhuay for breakfast every morning
mash potato and milk somewhere in the day,
soup for dinner.
AND my mum has this special weighing machine to measure how much fat and water you have in your body, ANDDD
haha! my muscle mass has increased! and weight has dropped too, but whatever fat i lose i gain in muscle.
but anyway.

God put a smile upon your face.
(:

if they knew, how misery loved me

2007-04-25T12:24:00.001+08:00

BRACES SUCK.
im in total pain right now
and i am also on a friggin liquid diet, like hello friends.
i had choc milk and tauhuay for breakfast,
and prawn mee soup (only the soup) and guava juice for lunch.
HELP.
i hate brushing my teeth now,
its like brushing metal and it really hurts
and i have to thread the floss through the wire to get to my teeth.
even bananas are too 'hard' for me too chew.
but its true right? if it is painful it means its moving
ok wonderful.
im now pw group leader, and SUDDENLY
this sense of leadership has been imposed upon me. haha
strange feeling i aint felt for years
in the art room now and OMG
just found out that tsun wang is NOT AN ART STUDENT!
OMG he's just a friggin freeloader from art club.
CHAYYYYY.
so he has NO RIGHT to be in the art room sitting at the table taking up space
precious space!!! hahahah

anyway you know the first thing i thought when i looked into the mirror post braces was
OMG SO FUGLY.
but i am still getting used to it,
looks more and more normal now.
and i overslept and ended up in somerset and had to cab down to dental
and arrived like an hour late for my appointment.
so terrible ah, don't know what happened to my brain.

oh i dont know if i should move to livejournal
i got an acct super long ago but i just started doing it up
supernovva.livejournal.com

there really is no use in having 2 blogs.
so,
how.

by the way my braces are aka-i!

i need some fine wine,

2007-04-22T11:00:00.000+08:00

and you, you need to be nicer.

ANYWAY.
brenda is so funny, so this post is like partly dedicated to her.

i bought SJP's LOVELY eau de parfum! its the 100ml one and i got it at a supposed good price of 59. and then i got my dress. at a 5 dollar discount for 45. i like going to bargaining places.. i so wanna go shopping in thailand. yes yes! shoppinggg..

Pippi And The Walrus are gonna set up an online shop! (hopefully) and then we will be happy people. (hopefully) so watch this space!

PW grouping is out, and i predicted some stuff correctly la. but basically im with jeridyn, christine, trina and serena. and im the friggin designated writer so basically its all the sai kang.

and i got my floorball shoes..they are part ugly part nice. its silver and white. and i'm jsut hoping it fits properly, so we didnt get to try them on before ordering.

i was doing math assignment yesterday and i did it all by myself and when i finished i felt like crying cos i was just so overwhelmed and happy that i could actually do a math assignment on my own.
i think its hard to keep being 'on' about school and stuff. so far my 'on-ness' has been on and off, and when you think about it, its like there's so little time left to get the grades and it doesnt help that my parents don't think i want to get 4 As or worse still, dont think i want to go to uni. so irritating when they use that tone of voice.

war poetry
haven't you heard
the sirens.
we are in the midst
of a war,
having crawled out of these
pages, and into this place
where you ask if i
will write a poem
about all that this is.
how
else will i paint
the hatred on a face
scarred,
tired.
oh yes, i
will write all about you.

2007-04-21T23:42:00.000+08:00

he's so funny in his bright red shirt,
we were all in love and we all got hurt.

2007-04-10T23:41:00.001+08:00

♥

It is almost our time
but we are alone tonight.
I have started to kill,
I am beginning to die,
and this moment we are
lack-ing.
This moment you are set
free.

A heart is
grazed by a rift,
a love is bruised
by a laugh.

And I don't know how
but you've
drawn these bold black lines
vertically down my legs,
and worn down my feet with stones.

And as we meet
we strike-strike
like
flint.
The sparks are how
we crash and burn.

smile like you mean it.

2007-04-04T19:57:00.001+08:00

TOMORROW is THE DAY!
out of my gums and into a ziplock bag my right tooth will go.
i shall miss it sorely, since i rely so much on my right side to chew
i predict another 2kg weight loss. maybe more, since the only chewing instruments i have now are my 2 front teeth.
i realised that when i laugh my bogay is very obvious. so terrible. wait people think i have cavities. i hope brushing wont be too much of a hassle.
dental hygiene is VERY important. bad breath will NOT be tolerated, same goes for plague.
i foresee more time being spent in the bathroom flossing and cleaning my teeth though.

i'm thinking about the injection that's going to numb my tongue and gums tomorrow. its the injection that hurts actually. you dont really feel pain until a while later and then your gums are set on fire. and then your face will go all URGH I HATE THIS THIS IS SO HORRIBLE. and thennn.. the KKRRRKK KRRRKK sound of the skillful surgeon extracting your dear tooth.

oh well.

today was the inter-secondary humanities quiz. congrats to maris stella who won. they beat SJI by a question to win. was quite fun trying to answer the questions and congratulating ourselves on being smart whenever we got something right. at the last part when MS won, two of the contestants gave each other a high five and TOTALLY MISSED! then i started laughing and laughing non-stop at the back of the LT and everyone turned to look at me and i was kind of acutely aware of my bogayness. actually i cant wait to have the full braces gear, then i wont look like a freak. i'll be normal.

till tomorrow!
to the shrinking of me and the expansion of my wallet.

GEOGRAPHY-Weathering ANTHEM:
and i will because you've worn me down.
worn me down, like a rock
(:

i'd like to

2007-03-30T00:10:00.000+08:00

my teeth hurt :(
i'm kinda hungry :(
i cant eat, i dont feel like eating
and i am

not fine.

hold on to your kite

2007-03-28T19:22:00.000+08:00

left lip is really numb right now, thanks to the extraction of my tooth.
ARGH blardy big gaping hole.
swolleness-numbness is really weird.
but i hated the injections most.
next week will be the left one and thenn
ima gonna be wearing braces.
i have separaters in my teeth now and they feel weird
coupled with this horrid feeling of numb-swelling
and of course the blood i have to swallow
and taste.

it was probably worse last time when i did my wisdom teeth
but oh well. now its one at a time and all
i should complain less
but its making me grouchy and glum
and just. tired.

the last time i have a full set of teeth.

aaaannnyway.
this morning was A.I.R. 2007
which stands for Arts In Reality
which was basically Arts Day.
was in charge of Cyril Wong's poetry reading and it was GOOD STUFF
bought unmarked treasure
and was reading it waiting for dental.
and i realise
he's heavily influenced by death-suicide and drowning
which are where i tend to gravitate to sometimes
some of it you really see the nuances of human behaviour
which sets you back a while
and you go..
WOAH nice capturing.
he read some of the poems out and they were really good..
and after that rachel and i managed to take pics (camwhore) with him
and since he's ms chia's friend
we got to know lots of stuff abt ms chis as well
HA.

but oh well, turnout was good
better than expected.
and over all i think AIR was really a success (:
was great to see so many Sci fac j2s in school
thought they would all pon.
i mean, i would if it was sci fair or sth

and then was in art room when i was
compelled
to help eujinn (xing yuan!) salvage his painting-
his painting's characters legs like drumsticks
and the skin tone is greenish grey..
painting is really tiring.
its like when you are close to the canvas you see all the colours in all their richness
but then you step back and you are like
WHAT.
thats IT?

oh well.
i shall go off.
and wax lyrical about my rubber lip.

im everywhere.

2007-03-25T13:00:00.000+08:00

peeling damn badly.

scales on my legs, before this it started out as white spots

more like air bubbles with moisture trapped inside due to old skin.

discovered this after running, almost died of disgust.

after a game i realised they were on my arms too.

ARGHHHHHHH what happened to my nice tan?!?!

last night my FOOT peeled.

and so the invasion has started. oh.my.legs.

and last monday sulaihah's stick whacked me DAMN hard on my right thumb

and it looked like there was a tumor on the joint.

oh so painful oh so sick looking

that monday was a real low point in terms of body image for me

basically EVERYTHING was going wrong.

sigh.

but thumb is better now though its still bruised.

ouch woman, OUCH.

zamir the masochist was telling me how shiok it is to press sth when it hurts. CRAZY or what.

went home with him after trg and i realised. that taking bus-bus instead of bus-mrt is much much more convenient. cuts down on walking time.

anyway the company was good so.

got my sui stick. its black and gold.

matches my bag. bimbotic i know but at least the colours are nice lol.

i have decided that imagonna work hard these 2 years.

consistency is the way to go!

go me! its my birthday!

yeah anyway, i have been consistently revising for geog during the weekends,

and even reading great expecs during my free time and basically,

i have become this really hardworking person

that i dont recognise but still,

i'm loving it.

i even listen during math lectures!

im never gonna pon anymore.

somehow mr ho(wk) makes me feel like studying, not in the sense that he's motivational

but he jsut makes me tell myself i have to.

thats great, cos this is the new me!

alright!

just hope this goes on forever, well for 2 more years at least..

PW!

planning on doing the person topic.

have a subject in mind alr, just hope he's not too popular.

oh well.

cant decide if i should get amy winehouse. ive gotten the kooks (THEY ARE SO FREAKING GOOD OMG) and i wanna get the fratellis as well..

soooo..howhow

ANYWAY

in love with the kooks' luke pritchard. bears this resemblance to adam brody.

HAWT!

i'm a survivor

2007-03-12T23:23:00.000+08:00

hello hello! i am alive! and kicking! after OLA at paka river camp. after thinking it was quite possible to like get injured or even choi, die.
i anticipated getting sunburnt/tanned and aches but not bitten by who knows what. and i have this weird rash on my right arm, which i'm trying to tame with tea tree oil. mosquito bites on my feet are tmd irritating argh. i woke up in the middle of the morning today itching like hell.
plucked off some aloe vera from my dear plants to put on my sunburn. not that sure how to do it though. apparently the yellow sap is itch causing. and the horrible unhygienic conditions have taken a toll on my face so i have like a week to repair it. the shampoo and river water damaged my hair too so haircut here i come!

i was in persevere C and kai was my trainer. he had this monkey, simone. monkeys have HAIR you know?! like hair not fur. and it was kinda spoilt, whining when it had to walk and stuff.

the first day was just basically travelling, and we got a taste(literally) of what was to come. the food, omg. and the utensils, OMG. and the area we had for washing up, OMMGGG. kind of expected the toilets and showering areas BUT the guys had this communal bath thing and at night with the lights everyone could look in! and margaret was ogling some muscular guy, tsk tsk. and apparently some guys bathed in the nude which was illegal and yixiang was sorely traumatised by mr macho, zhaochen. give me one macho clap! HRGNH

meal standards were irregular, ranging from real bad to quite good, and at times we hadto use hands cos there weren't enough utensils. there was this once my cup had hair on it. and the rim has black stuff around it. oh man. jovena, at the tent was like, diane will so not be able to survive and then she said she expected me to be more picky but i surprised her. HA! look down on me la. but actually i have surprised myself as well. of course i complained and diva-ed aBIT like throwing away food before even trying it and stuff. but it was really stupid to pack a PLASTIC BAG of lunch for the hike like HELLO? and they but the rose syrup and soup in some plastic bag somemore. there were people who had pink rice for lunch.

i think the hike was the worst. was sorely pissed with a bunch of people. and olivia got a leech in her tapered track pants dont ask me how. what was funny was that she didnt even know, and she felt something wet in the BUS and then she thought it was water and pearlyn squished it! omglmao. and it was like jelly and ya pretty disgusting. thank goodness none of that for me. koganti had one on his belly and justin tan plucked his off haha. according to him a leech is a head attached to a muscular body.

that's persevere C at the waterfall, and don't ask me where the bloody waterfall is. sometimes ppl are rather brainless. * I hiked 4hours up a friggin waterfall and all I got was a picture of the trees behind*

don't be fooled by the smiles! smiling is mandatory for group photos.

had walk-in-the-forest overkill. first orienteering then night walk then nightwalk revised and the stupid hike. i seriously think the fourth day saved it. kayaking was funfun but daammmnnn tiring. was supposed to do with zong he but someone heroed and took single kayak. did with equally seh daniel ho instead. 32km (: kayaking is really a brainless sport man. after a while, your muscles just go into clockwork. you only need to open your eyes to steer the kayak. and when you get to a point where you and your partner are synchronising to a rhythm and you are away from the rest of the people its very very therapeutic. nice. was chionging at the various ends. sense of satisfaction = 110% trapezius muscles are giving me hell now though.

last night was spent in a chalet..radius resort or sth like that. woah i had dinner and was just thinking how nice it is to have a right not to finish the food i've taken, to not wash my plates and then this woman comes and clears my plate and i'm like OHHHMYYYGOSSSHHHHH. its like, i have been liberated friends! i have been in bondage all this while! it was really amazing. (: (:

the ride home was somehow much longer than expected. slept alot but was still tired. spent much much time talking to the boys at the back, crapping and all that. VERY enlightening (:
and then i fell into such a deep sleep that zong he hit my leg 3 times and i didnt move until he whacked my sunburnt thigh and i woke up grouchy and whacked his arm and looked out of the window and OMG! REACH ALREADY AH! YAAHHH! haaha and was really happy afterthat (:
okay enough of the smileys.

but i have been really enjoying my house this monday. just want to thank God for everything.
(:

who's the bitch?

2007-03-02T12:32:00.000+08:00

i must stop bitching and being mean because it is bad.
but then again if you think it is it as bad?

long overdue thanks to all those ppl who wished me happy birthday. life rocks a little, sucks alot. but anyway thanks especially to yin who called from australia (:

why is baihakki getting married? he's so young! did i mention I MET THE SINGAPORE TEAM AT THE AIRPORT WHILE SENDING YIN OFF!?!?!? then i took a pic with lionel lewis and asked him where's baihakki and he was like bai ah..over there. and then i went to look for him and he wasnt there la. aiya so sad. but anyway.

there is comfort in the eye of the hurricane.

*honky accent* leanne is so short

that when she take picture with lionel lewis

he have to bend down.

whatsupworld.

2007-02-18T22:30:00.001+08:00

i, my friends, have come to terms with this coming of age. it somehow does not scare me like it used to. i think thats just how it is, the growing up does not come on the day itself but all this is a process. tomorrow i shall have italian food with my lovely beans at clarke quay, not swensens (private joke) because, i am so old.
hello we are pseudo whatever you may call it.

i hope WTBS gets in for STAMP. it stands for We The Blind Stars. but could be something else.. like, We're Talking BullShit. We're Totally Bull Shitting. if we do get in anyhow, vote for us!!!

because we totally bang superly!

p.s. that the kooks song-she moves in her own way is so cute! haha

i love sims

2007-02-17T23:40:00.000+08:00

my sims are so pek chek!! cassandra goth who is engaged to don lothario (they've been living with each other for ages), she has this daughter, Damita Jo, who is now a teenager. And then she like gave birth to TWINS who are GIRLS. They've since grown into children- Daniella Joy and Danielle Jean. And THEN she had another GIRL like MY GOD what is wrong with the programming. So i named her Danae Joi. this woman wants 10 kids so like.. i'm definitely going to get a boy. if not i'll just die. i cant wait to get a boy, i'm gonna name him Don Juan. SO COOL RIGHT! haha all DJ. (: and then this other woman brandi broke whose husband died and has two boys, gave birth to another BOY. like omgoodness the balance is all screwed. But i put in a husband for her, as in got her to marry her housemate so he could take care of the kids (so brangelina eh?) its hard if you dont have enough adults in the household to look after the kids, the children somehow cant touch the babies. anyway. cassandra goth is quite funny. one of her greatest fears is to grow old and not get married. haha farnee man. i didnt want her to marry don yet cos he's the town casanova. then i thought maybe i shall create some dream man for her to marry and be happy cos don always cheats on her but she just doesn't find out somehow. but then don has really good genes, so i just witnessed Damita Jo become a teenager and she's SOO pretty! haha. so its a bit weird if she breaks up with him to marry someone else, so yes. they shall get married soon.

oh man an entry waxing lyrical about the sims. HAHA.
zem zoo be lah

'song' for a BEST friend

2007-01-24T23:16:00.000+08:00

help,
you wouldn't say that.
you can't have said that,
it's not you. don't say that.
it's not true.
it's like a gun you pointed into my mouth
can't talk see, like a gag,
can't talk see
can't talk.

I love you still and i hope you always know that because i don't know what to do when i run out of words. just like you have trouble expresing yourself.

I will always love
I will always love you
Yes you
I will always, always, always, always love
I will always, always love
I will always, always love, love

running running keep holding my hand
so we don't get separated

hearts you?

2007-01-07T23:19:00.000+08:00

you are a friend, and only a friend.

come on party people

2006-12-28T10:22:00.000+08:00

PARRRTTTAAAYYYYYYY!!!!!

hello to all lovely 05V11 people! and teachers
there's gonna be a xmas cum class party at my house on the 29th of DEC (tomorrow)
there's gonna be a gift exchange as well, with a budget of $7
Dress Code: Smart Casual

there is also most likely to be dunking for guys so bring an extra change of clothing...

Venue: Leanne's house
8 Hartley Grove

How to get there: - Take 32 from Bedok Interchange (or wherever)

- Take MRT to Kembangan, go out through the main road exit, walk straight into Frankel Avenue, then turn right when you see Frankel Street, then turn left into Hartley Grove

youth is wasted on the young, before you know it's come and gone too soon

2006-12-26T16:17:00.000+08:00

why oh why is there a photo taking session for j1s?
what are they going to take?
what photo?
oh f.
im j1.
j1 OMG.
omg
o
m
g.
i know why there's a difference btw 16 and 17 now. its because the numbers 4, 5 and 6 refer to the middle, 1 2 3 are the begining. 7 8 9 are the ends, do you follow? so being 17 just gives the feeling that youre approaching 20 and now THAT's scary. gawd, 17. youth is gone i tell you.
where has my life gone??

who are you and what do you see?

2006-12-25T18:57:00.000+08:00

merry christmas people.
influx of people(parties) at my house non stop these past few days
and i think, this christmas is better than the last.
because, maybe things have gotten better. its good that things are better. it's good.

anyway, my sister's keeper by Jodi Picoult is a friggin good book. i finished it and cried and cried and cried. it deals with the issue of morals and ethics at first, then later it debates the sanctity and quality of life. really really really good book. and the ending, is like.. sad. but you know i've been reading books recently and somehow i always have a hunch about the ending. same here, just that it was sadder, much much sadder than i thought it'd be. oh well. the party is starting up downstairs.

christmas shouldn't be a time to be fake.

wish granted!

2006-12-21T21:30:00.000+08:00

zhi wei! thank you for the jollibean tauhuay!
haha! its better than mr bean man..

got pork?

2006-12-21T21:11:00.000+08:00

i aint saying she's a gold digger
but she aint messin with no broke n*****s

i want tauhuay! i want tauhuay!
zongyao just sent me this clip abt a guy ordering prata and saying stuff abt pork pork
ahahaha its LMAO man.
no but the thing is i thought he was vanessa the whole time!
AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA.

oh i just baked choc chip cookies today
wahhh
ahahah cannot eat unless you run!
hahaha
i never run!
*looks up at msn nick*
oh
you are zy!
omg
do you know
that i have been talking to you all this while thinking you are someone else
thats why i said weird stuff like running and chocolates
omg!!!
hahahhahahahahahhaah
HAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HOW BLUR CAN U BE??????
cos i thought you are my friend named vanessa
cos she got a star in front of her name one
ya then she called me just now talk to me abt DVD!
see? the similarity
then she talked abt how she dont dare to eat CHOCOLATES when she dont run
hi
my name's van
=)
wanna get our nails painted tmr?
keke

abshshshshssfdfhgunsdkjbfskdget
haha!

get down girl, go 'head get down

tell me when will you be mine

2006-12-17T11:52:00.000+08:00

quando quando quando and yesterday are playing en loope in my head like CRAZY!

let me show you the way
to a joy beyond compare
i can't wait a moment more
tell me quando quando quando
just say it's me that you adore
and then darling tell me when

but i really don't know how yesterday got into my head
think it's some.. subconscious thing.

yesterday..when all my troubles seemed so far away..

yeah anyway. it's been raining like crazy. everything is crazy.

on wed nadia came over and we talked and talked and talked
no look no see, no hi no bye, no talk no think
lovely.
had cedele sandwiches for luncho-
and ICE CREAMMM.
i'm really glad we met and found each other.
she makes me think i'm wise haha. but really,
the canteen is a wonderful place girl!
what sia!

and on thursday becs came over. and i had my virgin pool entry (eh?)
and thennn... my stupid maid washed my clothes and the ink came out like wtf
and so now i have purple dunman high shorts and like tie-dye purple under-stuff.
but oh well.. couldn't 'swim' much.
just cam-whored (in the RAIN!?!? and using BROLLIES!? as props and styrofoam boards)
woman! i love you! haha
and we did nails and i went on my choco hunt. and she had tomyam soup

and then i think
that puking after a swim is not a good idea
because beer before a swim is not such a good idea after all.

and on friday,
met up with darlings pearl yogs and win.
it's been a thousand years, really.
we went to little india!

did eyebrow threading (crying is a reflex)
and yogs taught me how to do eye makeup!?!!?
wahaha. and she was once the tomboy
who would have thought huh.
and then all the indians thought we were tourists can!?!?!
like helloooo?
you from china? taiwan?
no we're local.
oh korea?
-.-
no LOCAL.
and i was speaking singlish lor

but yeah camwhored on the NEL!?!?!
like so embarrassing la can.
we had banana and egg prata and rojak.
and bought many a yummy thing.
let's meet up soon AGAIN ok?
some good DID come out of dunman high after all..
hey pearl: we love you, your heart is gold. <3>

<- 3 spas people.

what happened to my bronze patents? the one with the wooden heel? dammit cannot find. maybe someone stole it (maid?) bleh. dammit i want my bronze shoeesssssss.

oh my darling tell me when.

INVASION!

2006-12-10T13:30:00.000+08:00

watashi wa leon and i am invading. hello leanne! (:

overload- in my head

2006-12-09T09:15:00.000+08:00

you know what's fun?
talking to my friends on msn.
those that i haven't spoken to in ages, or those that i just never really got round to talking to.
talking and speaking is different.
a great conversation is fulfilling and leaves you feeling real contented with the world,
in the way that you are left feeling.. happy, because you have nice people who are your friends,
and also you know that they are your friends, not your acquaintances, people who are there for you to talk to.
i don't know if i'm the type to pick friends for different periods in my life like the palm reader boon how -.- said
but then why do i have people all the way from primary school to meet up with and love?
i don't think its an exaggeration to say that i have, over the years, sifted through all the people i've been friends? with and kept for myself a nice wonderful bunch of people.
wednesday evening i was running and i saw an ex-classmate. you know how some people have faces that are so recognisable? and there she was, all the way from primary school and she didn't recognise me (i think) but as i was running back her name so clearly came back into my head and its like. i so badly do not want her to recognise me. like i just want to put that behind me, not that it was traumatic or anything. but it's just sad that it has to be like this.
i know for sure i'll fall short of keeping in touch with all the people i want to, so i would like to think that one day when we bump into each other at robinsons (sorry this scene is stuck in my head) we'll regard each other with joy and the warmth that a proper friend deserves, instead of the i-know-you-from-somewhere-maybe-i-can-put-my-finger-on-it-maybe-not-but-whatever-it-is-DON'T-whatever-you-do-come-up-and-talk-to-me reaction.

this is for all the wonderful people i've had meaningful convos with, and the lost-and-found of course (:

Strange fear I ain't felt for years
The boy's coming and I'm close to tears
I can't let go of you now
Imagination's playing round for free
In my world I take him out for tea
Oh my G, can't say no

Basically probability
Says that fate's come side with me
It's been so long on my shelf

The tension is incredible, boy I'm in charge
You know how I feel for you,
Will you stop, or will you just keep going
Please don't say no, no, no, no

2006-12-08T05:32:00.000+08:00

running in the evening is my favourite.
the weather is perfect, the whole atmosphere is good, esp the park connector bit where everyone's doing their own exercise and stuff. and you definitely get to see other runners as well.
and the music of course, is good too, just that i need to figure out a way to wear the earphones so they don't disturb me.

and i'm so sorry that i've fallen
help me up, let's keep on running
don't let me fall out of love.
running running,
as fast as we can,
do you think we'll make it?
we're running,
keep holding my hand
so we don't get separated.

2006-12-07T12:37:00.000+08:00

beehoon- diane
durian puffs- marg
cake- anne/leon

we need sparkling juice!

and the party will start at 630pm!

2006-12-05T10:00:00.000+08:00

~~this is the only picture thats on the web! so far..haha..i think.~~
THAT. was a damn ugly picture.
argh i need my com up and running NOWWWWW
i wanna upload prom pics!!!!!!!!!
NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
sorry tristan, heh.

i gots the pictures man!! my com is alive! msn me if you want them!

2006-11-12T15:55:00.000+08:00

moving house tmr!!!!
tonight is the LAST TIME I'M SLEEPING IN MY WONDERFUL BED,
the last time i sit in this chair at this table typing on the com,
the last time of many many things.

i should get back to packing..
all my clothes and accesories are still sitting happily in the shelves,
let's just hope my french nails survive the whole scotch tape ordeal.

goodbye 13 years-

2006-11-10T16:26:00.000+08:00

and you, my friend,
must learn to stop -

its only then
you learn to die,
too.

LOVE.

2006-11-10T16:19:00.000+08:00

i realise
scarily enough, the devices that help us get attention
make us naked. they don't strip us,
cos we kind of strip ourselves

maybe it is time to close up,
time to wither, to die
and then open up some other time.

this
isn't
poetry, though.

how much can a heart take i don't know
but it already feels like enough.
how do you tell yourself enough?
how does powder
disntegrate.

roller-coaster ride

2006-10-30T10:34:00.000+08:00

who said rollercoaster first?
maybe you, you beat me to it-
telling.

so who's going to stop and explain everything now
that we've all got our own lives and happy endings

well i don't really know
and maybe you really don't know

but it's gotten kind of
topsy-turvy down here,
so if you'd just
help
pay for my ride

i would greatly
appreciate.

by the way, we never really had this conversation

2006-10-27T15:17:00.000+08:00

The ace of hearts next to her queen
The ace of spades next to his king
Hearts beat together
but a dominant female lies between